A Wonder in the Park

I went for a walk today, for a few reasons:

1. To get me out of the house
2. To cheer me up
3. To find inspiration about what to write about.

I've been somewhat lacking in inspiration recently as I've been so busy what with technicals and erasmus applications that I haven't had any time to think. Since Friday night, I've probably slept around 10 hours every night, so I seem to think that my body needed a rest. 

The past month has been so hectic, it was nice to spend some quality Me-Time and have some time alone with my thoughts, with only the birds for company. 

I think that Me-Time is something that more people should take advantage of. Even if it is going for a walk for 20 minutes by yourself, or even just sitting down in your room and just switch off. It can clear out your head, perhaps making some decisions you've been umm-ing and ahh-ing about recently. In this day of age, we're so reliant on technology and our lives are so quick, with our smartphones pinging us every time we have an email, or having the news at our fingertips. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't live without my ipad, but there are days, like today, where I leave all things technological at home and just take some time out. It can make you feel refreshed and ready to take on your next challenge (or in my case, completely worn out cause I walked about 3 miles, and I'm not feeling 100%. Hence why I needed cheering up). 

Anyways, my walk. About a 15 minute walk from my house is Fletcher Moss Botanical Gardens. I hadn't planned on going there today, but as I was having a wonder around the charity shops in the village centre anyway, I figured I should go down and poke my nose in and see what all the fuss was about. It didn't disappoint. The photos above are of the gardens, and the smells coming from the flowers were amazing. There is no way I could go in the summer, as I would be coughing, spluttering and sneezing all over the place due to hay fever. So today was the perfect day to go. After looking around the main part of the gardens, I went to have a wonder around the field behind and found the river Mersey. I strolled my way along that before finding a road and eventually finding my way home. There was a great big cloud behind me the whole time, and I tried my best to be home before it started raining, but around 10 minutes from my front door, the heavens opened. 

You're probably thinking "why are you describing your walk?" Well, I wanted to share this experience. The experience of this walk being my inspiration to write when I've had writers block for the past couple of days. I've tried hard to sit down and write something, anything, that came into my head. I read through them all and deleted them because they were so awful. I've been tired, cyntachu (a welsh word...no idea what the translation is), and demotivated. This walk helped me find the words to write and has given me ideas to think about. 

I hope you can find some time in your busy lives to just sit. Or walk. Or run. Or make candles. Or do whatever you do. Without the tv on or music playing. Just do nothing for a while, and see where your contemplations and reflections take you.

Friendships

I find the nature of friendships fascinating. Since I was born I've moved house countless times (there was a time between the ages of 14 and 16 where I joked I was homeless as my family kept moving between 3 houses), and I've moved schools 7 times, including going to College.

I began in nursery in Surrey, then moved to Wales were I attended an all welsh school (being a 4 year old from England, in one of the Welshest part of Wales not being able to speak a word of welsh isn't easy). I stayed here until I was 10, when my parents dragged me out to live in France for 6 months and I attended school here), I moved back to Wales ready for Year 6. Then when it was time for high school, I went to the place where the majority of my class was going; an all welsh high school. I regretted this almost immediately and after a few issues, I convinced my parents to move me for year 8 to a bi-lingual school. I stayed here until 6th form, where I moved to an all-girls boarding school before finally moving to Manchester to go to Music College. Mixed in with the various schools, I've had musical commitments, I attended a Saturday stage school, and was in the Girl Guding family for 10 years.

What I'm trying to say is that I've had many friends over the years. 

But what I find interesting, is how they come and go, and how do you know that you've found a friend for life or if they are what I call a "friend for convenience". I know this isn't the most pleasant way of calling a friend, and I often haven't worked them out until after I've left them. We all have them, the friends that we look back on and think "actually, I was only friends with them because they were there and I saw them every day" and you realised that you never really saw them outside of school or whatnot. 

Friends come and go, we all know that. In my first secondary school, I was bullied pretty bad which was one of the reasons I left. When I did leave, I felt that I had no friends whatsoever in that school, ironically, two of my closest friends went to that school, and I believe (and hope) that they'll both be my friends for life. Granted, one of them did go to my primary school, and there's a running joke between my primary school classmates that we have unusually close relationship. There were 27 of us in the class, and if i saw any one of these in the street we'd exchange an "aright?" as if I saw them yesterday and I was going to see them tomorrow, even if I haven't seen them in about 2 years, because (I only speak for myself here) I feel so comfortable with them that I don't feel I need to say anything more. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting up with them and having a proper catchup, but one of them once said "I think we have a special bond cause we all went to primary together" and I completely agree.

Through having all these changing people in my life, I've come to realise that friendships are often a two-way relationship. It takes equal effort on both parties two make a relationship work. Sometimes, I have lost friends because I realised that it was me making all the effort, and although it always upsets me losing a friend, I have never regretted it. I always try and have people in my life who enrich it, and who want me in their life. 

Others, I've just lost contact as we've both gone away to university, or they've moved country, but I know that if I were to call them up, it would be as if we haven't not spoken at all and we'd yabber on as if no time has passed whatsoever. My best friend and I from sixth form are a bit like this. I can text her the day before and say "can I stay with you tomorrow night?" and it's fine. We text each other the most stupidest things, even if we haven't spoken in weeks, and I can't wait until she comes and visits me in May! 

Weirdly enough, the people I am closest to are the people I don't seem to see every day. I best friend, Cariad, lived in Surrey with me. When I moved to Wales, we pretty much lost contact apart from Christmas and birthday cards and such, until one Christmas. She sent a card when we were 11 with her msn address, so naturally I went and added her straight away. Since then we've spoken non stop and I can tell her everything and anything, and I know I'll have her support no matter what, and I'd do anything for her too. But we also both know that if I had stayed in Surrey, we highly doubt that we'd be as good friends now. 

Walking around College, I see my friends (old and new) and I wonder if those that I fell out with will ever see past what happened (see the Boy Troubles pat below) and I wonder if I'll still talk to my friends in 20 years time. My best friend in College, I don't know what I'd do without her. She's the one person here that will tell me the truth, even if I don't want to hear it. I really do hope that I stay in contact with everyone from College. 

I look at all the people who've been in my life, and it know that I wouldn't be the person I am now if even one of those people hadn't been there. I think of them sometimes and I wonder if they think of me. Each person has helped me become the person I am, and I am so very grateful to each and every one of them.