Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus!

Happy Saint David's Day everybody! I feel so patriotic towards my home country of Wales on this day. I even have a pack of welsh cakes open beside me. At home there's always a sense of celebration and pride to be Welsh. In Manchester, there's nothing. No daffodils, no Cawl being sold everywhere (not that I like Cawl. Bleurgh), and no leeks.

When I was in primary school, there used to be a little Eisteddfod and the four houses would compete against each other to gain points, and at the end of the competition, there was a ceremony for the Bardd, who would win the Cadair. Usually, whoever's house got the Chair won because it was worth like a gazillion points. I was in the house that always lost. Every year we lost. Every. Single. Year.

When I try to explain to my English friends what an Eisteddfod is...I can't. There isn't an English version. It's a welsh tradition through and through to celebrate the music, poetry and arts of Wales.

This tradition took over the whole school day, which meant NO LESSONS! It was also one of the few days of the year that the whole school would sit down together and eat a hearty meal of Cawl. However, this meant that there was no room for those of us who had sandwiches for lunch so we always used to get shoved into a classroom. Boosucks to the school-dinner-eaters - we had Jenga. Mother always used to make me feel special on St David's Day, as it was one of the few days a year I was allowed to have chocolate spread in my sandwiches. The only other few days were my birthday and the Christmas dinner day (which more often than not, landed on the same day).

Oh I'm forgetting the most important thing. We dressed up in the traditional welsh costume which consists of a white blouse, a red shawl, a red skirt with a black line at the bottom, and my favourite part - the bonnet. A black bonnet with white lace. Oh, how I grew to hate that outfit. As we got older, many of the girls wore Welsh rugby shirts instead, but I was never allowed to do this. I hated that outfit with such passion, but now at the ripe old age of 20, I just remember nothing but fond memories for this day.

Because the whole school sat down in one sitting together, we were allowed a longer play time. Most years St David's Day was a crisp, sunny, spring day, and there was nothing we liked to do more than play the game 'Olden Days' in the playground. As a result of being in the outfit, we travelled back in time and imagined what life used to be like when people wore these clothes for everyday purposes.

I'm currently sat on my bed, with my Welsh flag draped around my shoulders, smiling fondly at the memories of my primary school days (and procrastinating from writing my essay.....)

Friendships

I find the nature of friendships fascinating. Since I was born I've moved house countless times (there was a time between the ages of 14 and 16 where I joked I was homeless as my family kept moving between 3 houses), and I've moved schools 7 times, including going to College.

I began in nursery in Surrey, then moved to Wales were I attended an all welsh school (being a 4 year old from England, in one of the Welshest part of Wales not being able to speak a word of welsh isn't easy). I stayed here until I was 10, when my parents dragged me out to live in France for 6 months and I attended school here), I moved back to Wales ready for Year 6. Then when it was time for high school, I went to the place where the majority of my class was going; an all welsh high school. I regretted this almost immediately and after a few issues, I convinced my parents to move me for year 8 to a bi-lingual school. I stayed here until 6th form, where I moved to an all-girls boarding school before finally moving to Manchester to go to Music College. Mixed in with the various schools, I've had musical commitments, I attended a Saturday stage school, and was in the Girl Guding family for 10 years.

What I'm trying to say is that I've had many friends over the years. 

But what I find interesting, is how they come and go, and how do you know that you've found a friend for life or if they are what I call a "friend for convenience". I know this isn't the most pleasant way of calling a friend, and I often haven't worked them out until after I've left them. We all have them, the friends that we look back on and think "actually, I was only friends with them because they were there and I saw them every day" and you realised that you never really saw them outside of school or whatnot. 

Friends come and go, we all know that. In my first secondary school, I was bullied pretty bad which was one of the reasons I left. When I did leave, I felt that I had no friends whatsoever in that school, ironically, two of my closest friends went to that school, and I believe (and hope) that they'll both be my friends for life. Granted, one of them did go to my primary school, and there's a running joke between my primary school classmates that we have unusually close relationship. There were 27 of us in the class, and if i saw any one of these in the street we'd exchange an "aright?" as if I saw them yesterday and I was going to see them tomorrow, even if I haven't seen them in about 2 years, because (I only speak for myself here) I feel so comfortable with them that I don't feel I need to say anything more. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting up with them and having a proper catchup, but one of them once said "I think we have a special bond cause we all went to primary together" and I completely agree.

Through having all these changing people in my life, I've come to realise that friendships are often a two-way relationship. It takes equal effort on both parties two make a relationship work. Sometimes, I have lost friends because I realised that it was me making all the effort, and although it always upsets me losing a friend, I have never regretted it. I always try and have people in my life who enrich it, and who want me in their life. 

Others, I've just lost contact as we've both gone away to university, or they've moved country, but I know that if I were to call them up, it would be as if we haven't not spoken at all and we'd yabber on as if no time has passed whatsoever. My best friend and I from sixth form are a bit like this. I can text her the day before and say "can I stay with you tomorrow night?" and it's fine. We text each other the most stupidest things, even if we haven't spoken in weeks, and I can't wait until she comes and visits me in May! 

Weirdly enough, the people I am closest to are the people I don't seem to see every day. I best friend, Cariad, lived in Surrey with me. When I moved to Wales, we pretty much lost contact apart from Christmas and birthday cards and such, until one Christmas. She sent a card when we were 11 with her msn address, so naturally I went and added her straight away. Since then we've spoken non stop and I can tell her everything and anything, and I know I'll have her support no matter what, and I'd do anything for her too. But we also both know that if I had stayed in Surrey, we highly doubt that we'd be as good friends now. 

Walking around College, I see my friends (old and new) and I wonder if those that I fell out with will ever see past what happened (see the Boy Troubles pat below) and I wonder if I'll still talk to my friends in 20 years time. My best friend in College, I don't know what I'd do without her. She's the one person here that will tell me the truth, even if I don't want to hear it. I really do hope that I stay in contact with everyone from College. 

I look at all the people who've been in my life, and it know that I wouldn't be the person I am now if even one of those people hadn't been there. I think of them sometimes and I wonder if they think of me. Each person has helped me become the person I am, and I am so very grateful to each and every one of them.