Controversial Opinions on Feminism

The title says it all really. I am aware that this is going to upset a few people, but please respect my views and opinions, just like I respect yours.

I have been feeling that I need to explain my opinions for quite a while now, but have been afraid to voice them because of fear that I'll upset all of the feminism fans out there. Is that what feminism stands for? Being afraid to voice opinions?

I have noticed while scrolling through BuzzFeed and Facebook that feminism is becoming a massive deal. 

To be honest, I think the time for feminism has passed. #controversial. 

I'm not saying that I don't believe in gender equality. However, back in the 1900s when feminists first raised their voices, women of that time could not work and could not vote. We can luckily do both of these things now thanks to those women who sacrificed so much.

I recently shared this link: 11 Things That Are Supposed To Happen On Real Dates That Don't Anymore on my Facebook page the other day. A good friend of mine said that it was gender stereotyping and that I should take flowers on a first date.

I believe the opposite. I think men should be chivalrous. I am a very traditional person. Is that so wrong? Why is it gender-stereotyping if I agree with everything in that article? 

What do you consider gender-stereotyping? I don't agree that all women should be in the kitchen, but I also don't want men to stop being polite, or men to stop buying me drinks at the bar just because "they don't want to bought into the stereotype of believing that women can't buy their own drinks". I know someone who refuses to be bought anything by a man. What if he wants to buy her something? She is degrading him by not allowing him.  

Another friend of mine once asked me "why do you wear so much make up and high heels all the time?"

She asked if I felt like I had to wear make up. What sort of a ridiculous time do we live in if people begin to question the things that make me feel good. I wear make up because I like expressing myself and enhancing my features. It also gives me half an hour every morning for some Me Time. I wear heels because I am short. 

I have been judged by my feminist friends because they found out that I would like a traditional wedding. Y'know, one with the big white poofy dress in a church with people wearing massive hats. Surely it's against the "feminism code" or whatnot to not respect my views?

And does it not work the other way? When we see a picture of a half-naked woman, people think it's degrading. However a half-naked man is considered eye candy. Is there going to be a rise of "masculists" who feel that the men in this world are being degraded and are not treated fairly?

People bring feminism into situations where it is not needed. I have discussed with many people various characters from books that the author "portrayed in a sexist manner." What if that's just the way the character is? So what if it's a woman who enjoys baking? So what if she gave up her job to raise her child? 

In real life, the choice of a woman to leave her job and to raise her child is a very personal one, and therefore should not be attacked by the feminist views out there.

In conclusion, I am all for gender equality. However, I don't believe in feminism. 

Feel free to discuss anything I have written in the comments, I would welcome any other points of view. :)

Travel | Seeing Barcelona in an Afternoon

As my flight home from Spain left Barcelona, I thought I'd go to the city where I heard so many wonderful things a day early, and see as much as I can before heading home. 

I was welcomed so warmly at my hostel, I think this was one of the reasons why my (short) stay in Barcelona was so great. So I arrived, and I was sat down and asked what I would like to do with my time and was shown all of the best places to go. I only had 3 main things I wanted to see: Las Ramblas, the Sagrada Familia and the beach. (as someone who lives on the island of Great Britain, and never being more than an hour away from a beach, living in the actual centre of Europe is a little terrifying and claustrophobic being so land-locked.)

Right, so after I settled in, I headed out to the wind and rain. I was armed with my camera, and had my Nashville soundtrack to keep me company on my walk. I headed to the direction of the beach. I saw the sea, but didn't manage to get to the beach. (Mainly because I couldn't find it...) but hey, sea! check. 

Luckily, the little sea-place I was stood was directly at the end of Las Ramblas. Completely going against my morals of not looking like a tourist, I wandered up the street with all the other flaming tourists, with a map in one hand a camera in the other. I walked past the opera house, and some of the architecture of the buildings is phenomenal. As it was autumn, the trees that arch over the street were magnificent colours of orange and yellow. I also got the impression that it was not as busy as is probably is during the high peak seasons. So I walked all the way up, past the waiters calling you to eat some food, and past the tourist tat shops up to Placa de Catalunya. Las Ramblas? Check.

Opera house

Las Ramblas

From here, I decided not to get public transport, to put the map away, and to figure out a way to the Sagrada Familia. I knew the vague direction, so I picked a street and hoped for the best. While being super observant, I noticed a lot of signs for the Arc de Triomf. Obviously, I had the amusing thought of "well, I know I've been walking a while, but I didn't realise I'd made it to Paris." ha ha ha. I found it, and it's what I expected: a slightly less grand Arc de Triomphe. Oh, and it's red. 

Hello, this is me taking a self-timed tourist shot looking very uncomfortable.

Here, I figured that if I wanted to see the Sagrada Familia before nightfall, I should swallow my pride and look at the map. 40 minutes later, I arrived! It truly is an amazing piece of architecture. I didn't realise that it was still being built! I joined the end of the queue, and stood in line for 30 minutes behind a noisy French family and in front of a pushy Spanish matriarch-type woman who kept trying to get ahead of me. With my ISIC (International Student Identity Card) entry to the Basilica was a little over €12. I don't really agree to paying for entrance into a place of worship, but I figured that there must have been a reason.

To be completely honest, I was very very disappointed with the cathedral. Usually when I enter a place of worship with that amount of grandeur, I can feel...something. I don't know what, but I can feel that it is a sacred place. Not here. The atmosphere was ruined by all the tourists using their selfie sticks, and taking photos of literally everything. (WHY DO PEOPLE NEED PHOTOS OF A SIGN EXPLAINING WHATS ON THE STAINED WINDOWS? JUST READ THE SIGN!) I wandered around, didn't take many pictures, and had to leave. I felt quite uncomfortable in there with the lack of respect these people had for this amazing building that has been being built for almost 100 years. However, Sagrada - check.

When I came out of the cathedral, the sun was beginning to set, so I sat on a bench and watched the Sagrada Familia catch the colours of the sunset. That was pretty magical. 

By this time, it was time to head back to the hostel for dinner. All in all, I was walking for around 4 hours. 

I would like the chance to go back to Barcelona, simply because I know there is so much to see and do in a big, bustling city like that. However, I am proud of myself for exploring my first city solo, and not managing to get lost or resorting to using public transport. 

To be honest, visiting Spain for a few days did not calm my wanderlust. Every time I go somewhere new, my wanderlust is fed, but yet the more I feed it the stronger it gets.

Erasmus Applications Advice

I know that its around about the time of Erasmus applications and trust me, I know what it's like. It is a complete nightmare. It will become the bane of your life for what feels like months on end.

However, it is totally worth all of the effort.

I thought I'd share some of my experiences and tips and tricks and what I did for those who feel a little stuck on what to do. Believe me, I wish I had had something/someone to guide me.

(This is going to be catered for the conservatoire students, as that's what I have experience in)

I think the Most Important Thing about undertaking a rigorous application process like this, is to remember why you're doing it. 
- If it's to improve your understanding and learning of your instrument, great!
- If you feel like you're not getting enough opportunities in college, perfect!
- If you just need to escape for a few months, fabulous!
- Knowing why you're going through with this will be what's driving you forward throughout everything.
Whatever your reasons are, they are your reasons, and no one can take that away from you. They may not be what other people considered the "right reasons". but they are yours.

Research
Oh my word, my ex-flatmates would be able to tell you the hours and hours I spent trawling the internet researching the endless amount of schools that were suddenly available to me. You're only given 3 choices. Use them wisely.
- Research the schools, the opportunities, the teachers, the style of teaching, past students, current students, anything and everything.
- Speak to people you know who applied/went to the schools you're looking at.
- Find the Erasmus groups for the city on Facebook. Believe me, they're there, and it's super useful to see what's going on in the city!
- Oh, and research the cost of living within the country. There was one point where I had a short-list of the Czech Republic, Norway, Denmark and Switzerland. I told my father and he said "I think you've managed to choose 4 of the most expensive places in Europe." After looking some more, I revised my list.
- Contact the school international department (usually the information is on the website) to say you're interested in applying and ask what the requirements are for your instrument.
- Also, be realistic with your choices. Don't go applying to the Paris Conservatoire or Vienna Conservatoire if your teacher doesn't think that you can do it. Try to aim for places that you feel are attainable and within your reach.

Learning Agreements and ECTS
Oh trust me, even after you've completed your application, these do not go away. I submitted my application 9 months ago, and been studying here for 6 weeks, and I'm still not convinced it's correct.
After you've made your decision on where to go, you print off a scary looking form, with scary looking words on it.Once you have your head around it, it's pretty simple.
- ECTS will become a thing that you hear far too often. ECTS stands for the European Credit Transfer System. Each school has a certain number of credits that every student has to gain in order to progress to the next year. The complicated thing is trying to match up the subjects available and the amount of credits that you need.
- Contact the school international department (again) and ask if you can have a breakdown of their modules and courses available, if its not available online.
- After you have found out how much each course is worth in credits, make sure you have your calculator handy, and write down enough subjects until you have 60 ECTS.

Recording
Man oh man, was this stressful. I booked a studio in college, got an accompanist, gathered my friends (one of whom is luckily a techie wizz with cameras and such), and videoed my audition. I played Handel's Concerto in C Minor, Britten's Pan and.....something else which I've forgotten. Sorry. But best stick to the standard 'two contrasting pieces'! My friend very generously edited it for me and then I burned it onto 3 DVDs and popped them into fancy plastic wallets with my learning agreements for RNCM to send to the other schools. OH! Don't forget to have your teacher validate the recording to make sure that it's actually you. 

After it's all submitted, it gets given the once-over from college, they let you know if there are any problems (there most likely will be.....!) and then send them off. Then the waiting game begins.

When I got my first offer, I was in such a state of shock I managed to make a plate explode by cooking it on the hob.

In my opinion, although the application was hard, confusing, and exhausting (I was running round like a headless chicken for most of the time), a few months of hard work will definitely pay off when you get there, and you're about to embark on the best/scariest/most exciting year of your life.

If you have any questions about applying, or want to find out more about why I applied to the places I did, then please don't hesitate to ask in the comments below or tweet me @angharadowen :)

Erasmus isn't a year of your life, it's your life in a year.

Returning To The UK

Although I'm not going to write here about the actual details on this weekend, I am going to share the experience of going back to the Motherland after spending 6 weeks living here in Prague.

So I got off the plane and it was warm. Whaaaat? I then entered Manchester airport and was welcomed very warmly and Britishly with a 25 minute queue. Welcome to Britain.

My friend picked me up at the gate, and when we went outside, I'm not going to lie, but I had no idea which way the traffic was supposed to go. In the UK we drive on the left, on the continent (and most of the world), you drive on the right. It had taken me about three weeks to get used to looking the other way in Prague, and even so I'd look both ways just to make sure I was looking the right way. So imagine my confusion when I had to start looking the other way. Again, I just looked both ways to make sure.

When you live in a foreign country, you also get used to not understanding a single thing that is going on around you, so you end up living happily in your own little world. So obviously, when you hear someone speaking English your ears are immediately picks up on it. This happened to me, in England, I'd be walking down the street and my ears would be hearing English being spoken and I'd then think "Oh! English speakers!" and then my logical thinking would follow with "of course its English, you're in England." That took around 24 hours to get used to.

Normality. I walked into College where I have studied for the past two years, and it was all so normal. And nothing had changed. But at the same time everything had changed. This is difficult to put into words, but I happily went back into my own habits and sat on a sofa in the refectory and chatted happily to those who walked past. I mean, who wouldn't? I looked around and it was as if I had never been away. It was all so familiar. And normal. I mean, this was my normal, right?

It's also difficult returning to somewhere after being away, where life has gone on without you. I went to the college Halloween party. Despite everyone being dressed up and me not having a single clue who anyone was, I felt like a total outsider. It was as if I shouldn't really have been there. Did I belong there? Technically I should. I studied there for two years. I am a registered student there. I have my friends there. But yet, I didn't really belong there.

I think for me, the strangest and hardest part of going back to the UK was the constant questioning of what is normal? College and being around my friends felt so easy, it was as if I had never been away. But yet, landing back in Prague, and hearing Czech being spoken, and getting off my local metro station and walking back to my flat, It felt so normal and familiar. Prague is my norm now. This is where I call home.

But what if I never again feel at home in the UK?

A Month in Prague

So I have officially been lucky enough to call this beautiful city home for a just over month now! 

Happy monthaversary to me.....

The time has flown! I have already visited so many places, and the list of places I'm planning on travelling to just keeps on growing. 

Winter has arrived here. It arrived overnight, literally. Three days ago I was walking in a strappy top and sunnies, and now I'm huddled in woolly clothes, a coat and wishing I can take my blanket with me everywhere,

Autumn is stunning in this city. As there are quite a lot of trees on various islands in the river and parks around, they have been changing everyday. I can highly recommend visiting at this time of year, and I just hope that the rest of the year will be equally as beautiful.

It still feels like I'm not really here. I don't quite know how to word it... I'm living my fairytale. Yet, it doesn't feel real. Although I am living here, and have a bank account here, and have a Czech phone number, and I walk to school everyday, I still feel I'm on this working holiday. I don't know if any other Erasmus students feel the same? 

The way of life over here is much different too. People aren't afraid to go out to a restaurant alone, people take their dogs for a walk at all times of the day or night. This city never sleeps. I have been awake at various hours of the day, and it is never quiet. 

There are days when living alone in a great big scary city where all you can say is "Good day" is very hard, I think in the month I have been here, I have had two of those days. The amazing days completely outnumber and make the crappy days worth it. There is so much to do here, and so much of the city to explore that I never ever have a reason to say that I am bored. 

My friends here are great, and I'm having the best time of my life. I need to pinch myself almost every day to prove that I have done this completely amazing thing, which I will treasure for the rest of my life. A year ago, this was only my dream. 

P.s. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to the UK and pay more than £1 for only a pint of beer, not have Becherovka in every corner shop, and no proper Milka. Seriously, the food/drinks here are amazing!

Travels | A Weekend in Bratislava

So, I had heard so so so many different things about Bratislava.

I had heard it was beautiful. 
I had heard it was soul-less.
I had heard it was cultural.
I had heard it was concrete.

I was supposed to have gone throughout my inter-railing trip with my Cariad, however due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to head to Budapest a day later, and we fell in love with Budapest so much that we decided not to visit Bratislava.

Anyway, seeing as Prague is so close* and its very easy to travel around Europe from here, a friend and I decided (with the additional help of a plentiful amount of beer, of course) to book the bus and go to Bratislava!

*By close I mean, 4 hours on a bus.

Before we knew it, the little trip for the two of us became a trip for six of us. It was super fun travelling with new friends and sharing this experience of heading to a brand new country and city!

So we travelled by coach with a company called Student Agency. I know what you're thinking.... "ew, who wants to travel by coach?!" Well, I'll give you lots of reasons why:

• Free tea, coffee and hot chocolate
• TV screens with films/series in Czech and English
• .....It's super cheap! (And 10% extra off if you have an ISIC card!)

Seriously, I'm definitely going to be taking advantage of this company. They're so great. 

So we arrived. And sure enough, the bus station was basically a concrete block plonked right in the middle of nowhere. As we were walking, it was full of concrete. There were no sign posts anywhere, so we wandered aimlessly, waiting for some sort of sign to show us the way to the centre.

After about 20 minutes, we found the historical centre. It was very very strange as it was as if somone had just placed an old historical Eastern European city centre in the middle of concrete blocks! 

We spent the first day mainly wandering and exploring. We found our way up to the castle, however we didn't go in because not everyone was interested. 

We wandered aimlessly around before stepping through a portal to World War II. Not really. But we did step through an arch to find a show of things from WWII, and people dressed up in costumes marching up and down. Very odd.

We headed out for dinner, and afterwards we decided to hit the pubs and clubs. One small issue, Bratislava isn't the best city for a night out. We had a good night, however it was expensive and there didn't seem to be much choice in where to go. 

The next day, we were all feeling a little worse for wear. We decided on having a relaxing morning looking through the marketplace and visiting the museum. If you find yourself in Bratislava, I can highly recommend going to visit the City Museum in the Old Town hall. I got an insight into the complicated history of the city and country. We climbed to the top of the clock tower and there were some pretty fantastic views up there. 

After a pancake lunch, it was almost time to catch our bus back to our home in Prague. So back we went to the concrete slab of a bus station, and basked in the sun before the 5 hour trip back home.

P.s. Sorry about the quality of some of the photos. Ironically, the ones with good quality were taken on my phone. I'm still figuring out how to use my FancyPants Camera. 

Travels | 24 Hours at Oktoberfest

About a month ago, the Erasmus Events people here in Prague organised a trip to Oktoberfest in Munich. It cost us 1200Kc, which is the equivalent to around £35 - BARGAIN.

However, there was a catch. We left Prague at 6 am, and left Munich at 3am. It would be 24 hours or drinking beer, partying and making new friends.

When we arrived in Munich, Oktoberfest was pretty hard to miss. You could see the streams of people dressed in traditional Bavarian costume and leiderhosen walking towards the park. The Oktoberfest area itself was massive. Probably around the same size as the centre of the city.

There were thousands and thousands of people. And they were all dressed up. We were the minority - as we were dressed in "normal" clothes. I'd never felt like that before.

You'd walk down the centre of the of the area and there'd be a massive beer tent (I say tent, I mean giant wooden building) every other door - ON BOTH SIDES! I can't put into words how many there were!!

We eventually picked one, We tried to find one without a massive queue (IMPOSSIBLE), We also somehow managed to get a a bench. It was amazing. Inside I'd never seen anything like it. There were so many people, and there was what I can only describe as an Oom-Pah band in the centre. (As a musician, I feel slightly disappointed for not having a proper word...!!) 

The beer was gorgeous. It just slipped right down. Very expensive, mind you. After getting used to the 30Kc (£1ish) for half a litre in Prague, spending €10 for a litre stein was painful. Worth it though. There's no point complaining about the price of beer when you're at the world's biggest beer festival. Am I right?

We each had 2 of these, joined in with the drinking Oom-Pah songs and made some new German friends.

"Would you like some beer with that foam?"

We left, and after spending AN HOUR queuing for the toilet, we headed out of the park to explore the city and find some food. I'm going to be completely honest with you now, after drinking 2 litres if beer, your head begins to get a little fuzzy.

We had some food, and then found a cool looking bar. I even met a chap who was on holiday from Pembrokeshire and we chatted in Welsh for a bit. See, us Welshies can always find each other!

The Erasmus organisers had also managed to book a club for us to party the night away, which we happily did. Although compared to Prague, and the UK, the drinks were so expensive. €6.40 for a rum and coke!! Absolute joke.

Anyway, we danced the night away and we had a great time. We left Munich at around 3am, and I arrived back in Prague at 9:30am on Sunday. It was a brilliant and well spend 24 hours!

World Mental Health Awareness Day

Hello chaps.

I'm going to be speaking to you about something quite serious and quite close to my heart. Mental health.

The term "mental illness" has a lot of negative connotations with it, and it is an umbrella term for disorders such as anxiety, depression, stress, eating disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and PTSD.

So many people get affected by this every year, at any age.

I've suffered from my dose of mental illness, and looking back I've suffered more than once. The first few times I didn't know what was happening to me. The last time (which if you've been reading this blog for a while) will know that my most recent "attack" was just over a year ago.

As a result, my grades were affected in college, I lost my relationship and I lost some of my best friends. I believe that if those who turned from me in my time of need had understood what was happening to me and why I wasn't "the girl they met in freshers" (as someone delightfully put it), I would have had the strength to get better sooner. However, this was not the case, and I spent my entire second year in college rebuilding my life.

Just as a disclaimer, I'm not saying that I was completely faultless in this example. I was a monster.

Out of my 6 closest friends, 4 of them have suffered from various mental health issues. I have tried to be there as best as I could for them, but there have been times where I didn't understand what was going on. This also shows that there are lots and lots of people out there who are suffering right now and they may not have anyone to turn to.

Mental illness isn't always a long term thing, just like a common cold isn't permanent. However, if you don't treat your cold pretty quickly it can get much worse and you get very ill. It's the same for mental illnesses. except the symptoms are different for everyone, and are quite often much more severe.

I thought I was going crazy, My friends were saying that I was going crazy. I thought it was my fault. I didn't know who to talk to because I didn't want to seem like a burden.

This is pretty common for people who suffer from mental illness, and I urge everyone out there to get as much information about different disorders and how to cope if you begin feeling these symptoms or start to notice your friends showing signs of illness.

Please, for goodness sake, don't tell them that they're going crazy. Let them know in your own little way that you're there for them. If that is climbing into bed with them at 2pm because they haven't got the strength to get up, or buying them their favourite chocolate, holding their hand while they're panicking, or even giving them the chance to get away for a few days. They will appreciate it, and it will allow them to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope this has opened your mind to the severity, the commonness and the importance of understanding mental illnesses. If this post influences one person to help another, I couldn't even explain how happy that would make me.

Also, if you feel like you are becoming overwhelmed with scary feelings, and you feel trapped, then please please speak to someone you can trust. A friend, a teacher, a parent, a sibling, a doctor, anyone, and soon, mental illness will be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

Love you all,
Harri xxx

Travels | Home - Stonehenge - Bonn - Leipzig - Prague

We had a mental 4 days of travelling to Prague. It was somehow decided that we would have a family roadtrip. After days and weeks of planning, a route was formed.

However, it had been discovered during a family conversation around the dinner table that I had never been to Stonehenge. My parents were shocked that I'd never been and were surprised that I hadn't had a school trip there or anything. So it was decided that we'd stop there on the way.

I'm not going to lie, the place seems like a massive tourist trap. I mean, I am fascinated with how they got there and why were they built, but so many people seemed to go just to say that they had been, get me? I think it would be a really magical place if there weren't coaches and coaches of tourists. There was a really big visitors centre there, it looked like it had been built there fairly recently. I couldn't help but to wonder, if they hadn't made a big hoo-ha out of the place by building this fancy visitors centre, then would there be a big hoo-ha about the stones?

My parents said that when they went (about 20 years ago, mind) there was only a little shack there and it was free to go in and you could just happily wander around the stones and then return to the car that you parked in a field.

obviously I had to have my own tourist photo though.

Next stop was Bonn, Germany. We stayed over in Gatwick before having an early morning chunnel train to Calais. This was the day that we drove in 5 countries in one day. It was a spectacular performance. UK, France (for half an hour), Belgium, The Netherlands and Germany. It took about 5 hours, I believe.

We stayed in a little hotel between Cologne and Bonn, so we umm-ed and aah-ed for a while about where to go have a meal, and we decided Bonn, as that was the birthplace of one of my favourite ever composers (excellent grammar there, truly great) Beethoven. The museum had closed by the time we arrived, which was disappointing but ah well, I have stood outside the great composer's first home!

Another tourist photo: Beethoven's birthplace!!

Our third and final stop before arriving in Prague was Leipzig. Yes there is another musical connection here too (can you spot a theme yet??) Bach's grave. We drove through Germany for another 5 hours and we arrived at our hotel which was so lovely! We headed into the centre in the hope that we would be able to see the grave, but as it is in St Thomas Church right in the centre of the city, and we arrived in the evening....it was closed. Which was a shame, but I am hoping to head back to Leipzig for a weekend, maybe, and try to see it. I've visited this city twice now and not seen the grave so hopefully, third time lucky?

Luckily there's a massive statue outside the church for my tourist photo!! Ha

The next day we arrived in Prague and moved into the flat. I live on the third floor, and there's no lift, so I felt that I had done probably about a weeks worth of exercise just moving into the flat!!

Leave in the comments if you've been to any of these places and what you thought :)

xxx

Remember Me? I live in Prague now.

Yes, Hello. You guys remember me? Some people have still been reading some pages...so hello to you!

#dailycommute

I haven't posted in over two weeks *SHOCK HORROR* but in all fairness, I have been trying to get my brand new shiny life working over here in a strange new city and country.

I live in Prague now, and every morning I wake up and can't quite believe that I live here. I have the most beautiful view ever on my daily commute to university and I am so very lucky.

I have my own little flat. There have been Ikea trips and almost daily trips to the homewares department in my local Tesco. (YES WE HAVE TESCO AND I AM SO EXCITED.)

I have picked up my ISIC card, so I am officially an international student. It's crazy to think that this is going to be my home for a whole year!

I am planning on doing so much travelling, but I'm still figuring out the logistics of it all..!

Ok so this was a brief catch-up, I promise there'll be more blogs!!

Write in the comments if you've been here or if you have anywhere travel-wise that you recommend :)

Daily Diaries | Manchester, Ceilidh and Packing

Credit: RNCM freshers photography

Saturday I arrived at my friends house, and we stayed up late gossiping and eating.
Sunday I had the most beautiful American breakfast with 3 of my best pals - I now love love PB&J. I then headed over to my old flatties new house and ordered dominos, watched bad TV and chilled.
Monday was the ceilidh!! So much fun!! I danced the night away, said goodbye to all of my dearest friends and I even felt a little sad that I won't be in college for the next year!
Tuesday I felt a little fragile and had a 5 hour train journey home. When I got home, I curled up and watched an entire disc of Gossip Girl.
Wednesday was the beginning of packing up all my stuff. We then went to a posh new restaurant thats opened near us (this is a big deal cause we don't have many new places opening....especially not posh ones). I had pork rillette, fancy fish fingers and a creme brulee pudding. YUM!
Thursday and Friday: Packing. I am exceptionally bad at packing. I can't do it. So naturally, there have been many raised voices between me and parents. Oh joys....

#DontStopTheMusic

As a musician, I feel that this campaign is so so so important.

If you guys don't know what I'm talking about.... James Rhodes (a classical pianist) is campaigning to get people to donate any instruments they have lying around for the benefit of children in schools that may not have a chance to have a musical education.

Music has always been a part of my life. My father is very musical, and so I grew up with music being a presence in the house. When I was six, I began to play the piano. When I was 7, I picked up the violin. And finally when I was 8 I was given an oboe. I gave up violin for the oboe and stopped piano lessons (because I didn't like my teacher....) but I still play every now and then.

My local music service were very active and gave me the opportunities to have lessons, play in various ensembles and perform on stage. They even gave me a student oboe to learn on.

Music has really been the only constant in my life. It's been there through moving schools and moving house. It's been there for me when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Through learning to play the oboe I have made some of my best friends, met boyfriends along the way, had the most amazing opportunities, and it's all topped off by having unforgettable experiences.

I study the oboe at a music conservatoire now, I have been a member of the National Youth Orchestra of Wales, and I received a music scholarship to one of the top schools in Wales. I am now going to study in one of the highest establishments of music in Prague, Czech Republic for a year. These are only a few of the wonderful things that music has allowed me to do with my life.

I can't explain the impact that it has had. Sure, people have picked on me because it's not "cool" to play an instrument (and lets face it, the oboe isn't the coolest instrument out there!!), but I didn't let that bother me. In fact, I took that negativity, and worked extra hard to show those non-supporters what I could do!

As I've said above, it has helped me create memories and make the best of friends, however it also helped me in many other ways:

I grew in confidence, I knew that I was good at something. It is nothing to be ashamed of to allow yourself to say you're good at something.
I became a team player. When you're playing in an orchestra, you learn to work as an orchestra. You learn to listen to those around you, to know when you're the melody and when you're the accompaniment. You learn to hear if you're sharp or flat and now that can affect the whole of the orchestra.
Multi-tasking. If people had any idea how much skill it takes to work in an ensemble, I swear there would be no issue with musical education in the UK. You need to read the music in front of you, while watching the conductor. On top of that you need to listen to what's happening in the music around you, and that's all before you actually play the instrument and think about the notes, the dynamics and the wiggling of your fingers and letting the sound out.
Perseverance. Oh boy, as someone who isn't a fan of hard work, this really was a tricky one for me. But sure enough, 12 years of practice and look where I am! It takes so much time and effort to learn an instrument and to understand the music. It really does pay off, I promise!
Responsibility. You never know responsibility really as a child, and when you're holding £1500 worth of instrument in your hand, you become so protective. It is also your responsibility to make the time and effort to practice and to get better.

I really can go on and on and on about the other benefits I've had (memory, maths, reading, concentration. anxiety reduction, physical stamina, sense of achievement), but I think you get the picture, right?

I have no idea where I would be right now if I wasn't introduced to music. I am very lucky that my home-town had such an active music service, and I am very thankful to them for allowing me to have the opportunities I was given, which has lead to where I am in life right now.

It therefore really distresses me that there are schools and areas that don't have the funding for giving children the chances I had when I was their age. It could give them a future. It could keep a child from a life of drug addiction and abuse. It could keep a child from the streets.

So please, if you have an instruments lying around the house, take them to your local Oxfam where they will be found a home and loved once again.

I can't imagine life without music, so please, let's #DontStopTheMusic.

Romantic Confidence

Credit

My most popular post on here is Romantic Expectations, but after a few things have happened to me that I'm going to share with you, I've realised that sometimes you have to take the future of your love life into your own hands.

As most girls will understand the excruciating pain of liking a guy, but not being sure if they don't like you back, so therefore don't want to risk rejection by telling them.

I have changed a lot this year. I have grown in confidence and I like the person I am (apart from the extra six pounds that appeared over the summer. I don't like them). There is nothing wrong with having the confidence to tell someone how you are feeling.

There's this guy, right, who I get along with. Really, really well. Everyone said that there was something between us. I'd liked him on and off since I'd known him, and even when I didn't like him, I was very attracted to him. So one day, I was in the gym, pumping the iron, and I'd worked myself up to tell him, I told him everything, and he politely said that he didn't feel the same. We are still the bestest of friends and we very much respect each other. It also gave me the freedom to move on and to accept that nothing ever will happen. I'm not sorry about it, I told him the truth and I wasn't particularly sad when he didn't feel the same either. It was more of an inner-peace.
To be honest, I don't think we'd make a great couple anyways.....

ON THE OTHER HAND:

There's this other guy, right, that I had also had a thing for. (I've been single for the most part of a year, don't judge me!!!) I had accepted that nothing was going to happen a long time ago. Still, a girl can dream, right? Anyway, we were at a party together and were chatting and flirting away. I just came out and told him, and he said that he felt the same. Unfortunately as I'm moving to Prague on saturday (aaaaargh) nothing could happen. I am so glad that I told him and he told me, but I know that if I hadn't of said it first, neither of us would have been any of the wiser.

I didn't tell them that I was declaring my undying love to them, if any of you get the wrong idea.... I just told them honestly how I'd been feeling. That I'd liked them for a while. Simple. :)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you like someone, go for it. It doesn't matter what happens after, but you're doing this for you and no one else. I am a very strong believer in "if it's meant to be" and it will be, but sometimes you just have to take that one leap of faith to take control of your destiny.

Daily Diaries | Days Filled With Nothing

Ok, so my days haven't been completely filled with nothing, but it certainly feels that way. Because my foot has been oh so painful, I can't drive, I can barely walk; which means I can't really leave the house.

I went back to the doctors, who sent me to A & E, only to find out that one doctor is telling me to rest and the other is saying to exercise......which do I do?! Good ol' NHS.

I've been catching up on True Blood and Gossip Girl, watching Breakfast at Tiffany's (I am in love with Audrey Hepburn) and baking some peanut butter and oat cookies.

Although, yesterday, me and my father did end up going to visit my grandmother, and we went for a Toby Carvery. Never had one before, and I had the nut roast. So delicious.

Oh, I've also been reading "Meet Me at the Cupcake Cafe" by Jenny Colgan. Seriously, I can't put it down!!

The Book Tag

I saw this post over on The Giggly Blogger and I knew immediately that this was for me. I love reading so so so much and so I'd love to spread the word (excellent pun there.....)

- Do you have a certain place where you read?

My bed. It's the most relaxing place to curl up and read a good story. 

- Bookmark or a random piece of paper?

I'm one of these awful people that fold down the corner of the page. I know, I'm a horrible person. *hangs head in shame* BUT IN MY DEFENCE - I always end up losing a book mark....

- Can you stop reading at any moment or do you have to finish the chapter?

I usually try to finish the chapter, unless I fell asleep or had to stop for some particular reason.

- Do you eat or drink whilst reading?

No. I'm so desperately clumsy that I drop crumbs everywhere/spill anything. Don't want a soggy book now, do we?

- Can you read whilst listening to music/ watching tv?

Nope. I get far too distracted. 

- One book at a time or several at once?

Oh one at a time. I can barely keep up with one, let alone any others. I've tried reading loads, but I'd end up picking a favourite and just reading that one and then I lose my place in the others. Too much hassle. I'll stick to one.

- Reading at home or everywhere?

EVERYWHERE. When I'm in college, I literally take my book everywhere. It's perfect for waiting for practice rooms/on the bus/chillin'.

- Reading out loud or silently in your head?

In my head. 

- Do you skip pages?

No!!!! That really ought to be a crime!!!

- Breaking the spine or keeping it new?

I don't understand people who don't break the spine. I once dated a guy who didn't, and when I borrowed his copy of The Da Vinci Code, I was so scared of breaking it in case he shouted at me and I was terrified of the book. Sorry, but life is too short.

- Do you write in books?

Sometimes. If there's something that's really caught my eye then I'll underline it.

I'm going to tag aaaaall of you. If you enjoy reading/books/whatever then please take a few minutes to finish this! :) 

Harri xxx 

Socialising Antisocially?!

source: Pinterest

It has come to my attention recently, that many people feel the need to be on their phones at the same time as spending time with friends.

Let me give you an example:
A few years ago, I met up with a very close friend of mine for the day. I hadn't seen her for a while, so I was really looking forward to spending the day catching up and having a good gossip. She then spent the entire day texting her boyfriend. I felt really......what's the word...... put out. I had made the effort to put the whole day aside for her, but she couldn't do the same for me. What was the point of her even bothering to see me if she was glued to her phone the entire time?

I can't help but wonder, are phones more important to people than their friends?

I work as a waitress in a little seaside restaurant, in a small village in Pembrokeshire. I have noticed through the many hours I've spent there, that so many families sit in silence while they are all gazing at the little screens, that have taken over our lives. Not only that, but many of these families ask me "do you have wifi here?" Our wifi has a reputation of being a little temperamental, but what surprises me is the look of disappointment on the face of the asker at the thought of having to spend the entire evening speaking to their parents.

I mean, God forbid you have to have an actual conversation face-to-face while you're on a family holiday.

I know I have touched on this subject before, with my Look Up  post a few months back, but for some reason, this subject is very close to my heart, and I do not understand why people feel the need to spend the quality face-to-face time they should be having with one person, glued to the piece of plastic in their hands speaking to another.

If I had a boyfriend, and I was spending the day with people that I loved, I would tell him that and if he doesn't understand that, then frankly, he shouldn't be in my life. I think it's controlling, unhealthy and possibly damaging the relationship to be in a constant conversation for all hours of the day. What left do you have to talk about when you see each other?

Obviously, I do see the benefits of mobile phones and being able to reach someone instantaneously. Emergencies, for example. "Help, can you get this spider out of my room please?!" (A genuine text I have sent....)

Does anyone else agree with me here? Am I the only one?

Daily Diaries | Sun, Sea and Injuries

I began this week by doing an 8 mile hike from Tenby to Manorbier along the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path. Mother and I are attempting to walk all 812 miles of the Wales coastline.

Tenby

Monday-Thursday was spent on holiday in Malta with my bestest and oldest friend. I'm not going to write too much about this, because it was our holiday and we went to escape the real world, so if you guys don't mind, I'll keep it that way for now. 

However, Valletta is absolutely gorgeous. If you ever find yourself on the little island of Malta, take a day just to wander the picturesque streets of the medieval capital city.

We took the ferry to Gozo for a beach day. It was so windy we basically in the midsts of a sandstorm on the stunning Ramla Bay.

We watched the beautiful sunset from a bus stop at the ferry port. (Not exactly what we had in mind, which made it more memorable!!!)

On the final evening, I managed to injure my foot. I hobbled my way to the airport to go home, when we landed I limped my way onto a train all the way home. I went to the doctors, was sent to the hospital for an X-ray, but luckily nothing is broken. So I'm just limping around the place in a lot of pain. But hey, at least I have something to remember my little break away, right!?

What did you guys do this week? :)

Daily Diaries | Flats, Physio, Hair and Camera

So I thought that I'd join in the Daily Diaries link up over on The Lotus Creative (one of my fave blogs to read) just as a way to summarise my day-to-day life that one may overlook when thinking of things to blog. So every friday I'm going to just give you guys a compact summary of my week :)

So this week there has been a lot of changes in my life. I have a flat! I have somewhere to live when I move to Prague! It's a massive flat, right in the centre of the city, only a 20 minute walk from college and I can't wait to make the place my own.

I have queer feet. That's right, there's been a reason why I get shooting pains up my legs while I run. My feet are out of alignment, so my leg muscles have to work extra hard in order to get the momentum to run. I have some exercises and stretches to help, as well as a few brands of trainers to look at investing in.

My hair's a different colour! It's a dark brown-y, red-y sort of colour. Finally the horrible gingery blonde caused by faded colour is no more.

If ya follow me on Instagram I'm sure you'll have seen this. (@nghazzie)

This morning I went into town and invested in a lovely new camera for my travels next year. I can't wait to go outside and try it out.


 

Feeling Lost in The Blogging World

Right, so I'm fairly new to this world. That's not news. I am so overwhelmed by everything because everyone else on here seems to know exactly what they are doing.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I use Blogger, but I had a second blog for a while with one of my Bezzies on Wordpress and now I love Wordpress and now don't like Blogger quite so much but I don't know if/how I can transfer everything.

I can't seem to get the formatting on my blog right no matter how hard I try. It just doesn't look right. I don't know how to break out of the Blogger templates.

There are so many rules. I've frequently searched "top tips for bloggers" into Google, and there seems to be so many rules! Always have pictures. Blog every day. Don't blog every day, it's all about quality not quantity. It's in the labels. It's important to always know what direction you're going in. 

Why do I need pictures? For example, this post is about me feeling lost and overwhelmed, and to be honest, a little frustrated at the amount (or lack of) traffic to my blog. So why do I need a picture?

All I know is that I enjoy writing. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with the world, and I'd like to know if anyone agrees or disagrees. I enjoy reading other people's blogs, I like knowing about the beauty products people are loving and their travel experiences and their fitness regimes and their recipes. I do keep a blogging book so I can jot down my thoughts, but at the end of the day I write for myself. Why do I need to follow all of these rules?

And finally.... I see these success stories of people who get to 2000 followers in 8 months or 800 followers in 5 months and so on. How did you do it?

I sort of feel like I'm a minuscule person standing on a tiny pebble in the middle of a crowded square and all the giant people that I look up to can't hear me shouting at the top of my lungs.

This is a cry for help and advice. If anyone could please part with even the tiniest amount of their wisdom I will be forever grateful!

Thank you. :) xxx

Returning from the Undead

I know this title is a little exaggerated....but that's what it feels like!

I mentioned over a MONTH ago that I wanted to blog more..... that totally happened didn't it.

Life happened. Life got in the way. I've been away on orchestra. I've been working. I've been exhausted. I've been sorting my life out before I pack it all up and move to Prague.

It's been difficult. And scary.

I've been coping in the usual ways; you know, eating lots of ice cream, going to the gym and burying my head in the sand and pretending nothing is happening. All very healthy ways of coping with stress (not). But seriously though, things are beginning to come together. I have a flat to live, I'm speaking to people who are also going, and I'm slowly but surely learning the language.

I'm scared, but it's ok to be scared. Good things happen when one pushes themselves out of their comfort zone. And that's what I'm doing. Good things will happen and I will learn a lot.

I've missed writing on here, and I actually wrote when I was feeling at my most down and most stressed out, but I decided against it. I strive for positivity on here, in my writing and in my life. I was feeling anything but, HOWEVER, I feel like I've come out the other side feeling stronger and more determined for a challenge than ever.

Lots of love to you all and thanks for being so patient with me. xxx

Things That Make Me Happy

 I woke up this morning in a foul mood. Don't know why, but I was all (as the welsh say) cyntachu. There is no translation for that word. Sorry.
I did nothing differently this morning, but nothing seemed to be going right.

So I thought I'd make a list of all the small day-to-day things I am grateful for, and the things that give me pleasure in life:

my favourite shower gel | reading | oboe | playing something right | late night phone calls | cwtches | cute texts | dinner with friends | film nights | exploring new places | tidy rooms | my harry potter t-shirt | listening to music | having me-time | baking | fancy dress | food | knitting | yoga | writing letters | receiving letters | doing right in the world | little victories | family time | travelling | my hair looking good without effort | finding bargains in charity shops | chivalry | tea | smiling | disney | bubble baths | parcels | cinema trips | smell of pages | cats

view from my kitchen

Possibly the coolest cat ever

What makes you happy? :)

Small Things That Might Change Your Life

While doing my usual daily readings of the blogs I follow on Bloglovin, a theme appeared in a few posts, which was How To Be Happy or something similar. It was talking about the little things that you can do to make you feel a little more positive, or if you're simply stuck in a rut. The two posts that really stuck out for me were this one from one of my favourite blogs; Pretty Chit Chat, and this one by Zoella.

Over the past year I've discovered that doing lots of little things has had a complete change on my outlook and quality of my life. There have been numerous ups and downs (boys, pals, work, oboe, pretty much everything) but I thought I'd share with you some of the things that I found really useful when I felt I was stuck.

• YOGA - I cannot stress how important I find this. If its sunny, I like to go outside and practice there. Each position has a different meaning, and if you're really suffering from being stuck in the rut of life, the inverted positions will help you gain new perspective on things. Doing yoga in the morning is a gentle way to wake the body up, and the fluidity of the movement can help you Flow throughout the day. 

• MAKE UP - My friends would probably be able to tell you guys how much money time I like to spend on my face. It sounds really stupid, but I felt that when I bought new make up, I could almost paint on a new me in the morning. I really enjoy putting on my face, I can express my mood and feelings. Sometimes if I'm in a particularly bad mood in the morning, I'll put on bright eye make up and it really does make a difference. I find it soothing, relaxing, and it's the perfect bit of me-time to begin the day (after yoga, of course!!)

• HEALTHY DIET - I know, this is one of those things that everyone keeps talking about. Seriously though, I used to be one of the the most fussiest eaters of all time. Trying new foods and recipes really helped me overcome that, but I have found that since getting rid of junk food and refined sugars, and I've started eating more fruit, veg, healthy substitutions to puddings and drinking more water, not only have I lost weight, but my skin is clearer, I have a lot more energy, and I simply feel much better in myself. I am a strong believer in you are what you eat. 

• READING - Read whatever you want. Fiction, non-fiction, sci-fi, horror, whatever it is, believe me, it's better than sitting in front of a screen all day. Reading feeds the mind, and it allows you to get lost in so many different worlds, and you get to meet more people than you could ever imagine in these different worlds. Each book takes you on a journey. So why not begin now?

• STOP COMPLAINING - This really was a tough one for me, I mean, I am honestly never happier than if I have something to complain about. But complaining is negative, and we're trying to focus on keeping positive. So stop it. If you're in work and you're thinking "ooooh my feet hurt, I want to go home" instead think about how much money you've earned that shift, or something. This one does take time, because it involves changing habits and thought processes.

• GET OUT - On a bike. For a walk. On a run. Bungee jump. Travel. Whatever, just go. Going outside will help you be able to clear your head and it will get you away from sitting slumped in front of the computer mindlessly scrolling down Facebook for absolutely no reason.

• TREAT YOURSELF - There is nothing wrong with a little treat. If you have read the Chimp Paradox you will understand that your inner chimp often needs rewarding. Little treats now and then are great. If you think you deserve that pair of dungarees you've been lusting after, then go for it. Try not to abuse the treating though. Then it won't be a treat anymore, will it?

• GET RID - Someone or something making you miserable? Get rid of them. Why should you in your happy little bubble be allowing someone/something else to get you down? I know, easier said than done, but trust me, getting rid of the negative influences in your life works wonders.

• CLEANSING ENERGY - I was very sceptical when Mother first suggested I'd do this, but I went along with it any way. I can't explain how much better the energy of my bedroom was. If you spend a lot of time in one room, then it might be worth researching the different ways to cleanse the energy and to rid the room of the stagnant, murky, negative energy that has collected over the months/years. It will help you sleep, work, and feel better when you're in that environment again.   

I hope these help, even just a little. Let me know in the comments what small changes you do to make your life a more positive and happy place to be :)