Travels | Home - Stonehenge - Bonn - Leipzig - Prague

We had a mental 4 days of travelling to Prague. It was somehow decided that we would have a family roadtrip. After days and weeks of planning, a route was formed.

However, it had been discovered during a family conversation around the dinner table that I had never been to Stonehenge. My parents were shocked that I'd never been and were surprised that I hadn't had a school trip there or anything. So it was decided that we'd stop there on the way.

I'm not going to lie, the place seems like a massive tourist trap. I mean, I am fascinated with how they got there and why were they built, but so many people seemed to go just to say that they had been, get me? I think it would be a really magical place if there weren't coaches and coaches of tourists. There was a really big visitors centre there, it looked like it had been built there fairly recently. I couldn't help but to wonder, if they hadn't made a big hoo-ha out of the place by building this fancy visitors centre, then would there be a big hoo-ha about the stones?

My parents said that when they went (about 20 years ago, mind) there was only a little shack there and it was free to go in and you could just happily wander around the stones and then return to the car that you parked in a field.

obviously I had to have my own tourist photo though.

Next stop was Bonn, Germany. We stayed over in Gatwick before having an early morning chunnel train to Calais. This was the day that we drove in 5 countries in one day. It was a spectacular performance. UK, France (for half an hour), Belgium, The Netherlands and Germany. It took about 5 hours, I believe.

We stayed in a little hotel between Cologne and Bonn, so we umm-ed and aah-ed for a while about where to go have a meal, and we decided Bonn, as that was the birthplace of one of my favourite ever composers (excellent grammar there, truly great) Beethoven. The museum had closed by the time we arrived, which was disappointing but ah well, I have stood outside the great composer's first home!

Another tourist photo: Beethoven's birthplace!!

Our third and final stop before arriving in Prague was Leipzig. Yes there is another musical connection here too (can you spot a theme yet??) Bach's grave. We drove through Germany for another 5 hours and we arrived at our hotel which was so lovely! We headed into the centre in the hope that we would be able to see the grave, but as it is in St Thomas Church right in the centre of the city, and we arrived in the evening....it was closed. Which was a shame, but I am hoping to head back to Leipzig for a weekend, maybe, and try to see it. I've visited this city twice now and not seen the grave so hopefully, third time lucky?

Luckily there's a massive statue outside the church for my tourist photo!! Ha

The next day we arrived in Prague and moved into the flat. I live on the third floor, and there's no lift, so I felt that I had done probably about a weeks worth of exercise just moving into the flat!!

Leave in the comments if you've been to any of these places and what you thought :)

xxx

Remember Me? I live in Prague now.

Yes, Hello. You guys remember me? Some people have still been reading some pages...so hello to you!

#dailycommute

I haven't posted in over two weeks *SHOCK HORROR* but in all fairness, I have been trying to get my brand new shiny life working over here in a strange new city and country.

I live in Prague now, and every morning I wake up and can't quite believe that I live here. I have the most beautiful view ever on my daily commute to university and I am so very lucky.

I have my own little flat. There have been Ikea trips and almost daily trips to the homewares department in my local Tesco. (YES WE HAVE TESCO AND I AM SO EXCITED.)

I have picked up my ISIC card, so I am officially an international student. It's crazy to think that this is going to be my home for a whole year!

I am planning on doing so much travelling, but I'm still figuring out the logistics of it all..!

Ok so this was a brief catch-up, I promise there'll be more blogs!!

Write in the comments if you've been here or if you have anywhere travel-wise that you recommend :)

#DontStopTheMusic

As a musician, I feel that this campaign is so so so important.

If you guys don't know what I'm talking about.... James Rhodes (a classical pianist) is campaigning to get people to donate any instruments they have lying around for the benefit of children in schools that may not have a chance to have a musical education.

Music has always been a part of my life. My father is very musical, and so I grew up with music being a presence in the house. When I was six, I began to play the piano. When I was 7, I picked up the violin. And finally when I was 8 I was given an oboe. I gave up violin for the oboe and stopped piano lessons (because I didn't like my teacher....) but I still play every now and then.

My local music service were very active and gave me the opportunities to have lessons, play in various ensembles and perform on stage. They even gave me a student oboe to learn on.

Music has really been the only constant in my life. It's been there through moving schools and moving house. It's been there for me when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Through learning to play the oboe I have made some of my best friends, met boyfriends along the way, had the most amazing opportunities, and it's all topped off by having unforgettable experiences.

I study the oboe at a music conservatoire now, I have been a member of the National Youth Orchestra of Wales, and I received a music scholarship to one of the top schools in Wales. I am now going to study in one of the highest establishments of music in Prague, Czech Republic for a year. These are only a few of the wonderful things that music has allowed me to do with my life.

I can't explain the impact that it has had. Sure, people have picked on me because it's not "cool" to play an instrument (and lets face it, the oboe isn't the coolest instrument out there!!), but I didn't let that bother me. In fact, I took that negativity, and worked extra hard to show those non-supporters what I could do!

As I've said above, it has helped me create memories and make the best of friends, however it also helped me in many other ways:

I grew in confidence, I knew that I was good at something. It is nothing to be ashamed of to allow yourself to say you're good at something.
I became a team player. When you're playing in an orchestra, you learn to work as an orchestra. You learn to listen to those around you, to know when you're the melody and when you're the accompaniment. You learn to hear if you're sharp or flat and now that can affect the whole of the orchestra.
Multi-tasking. If people had any idea how much skill it takes to work in an ensemble, I swear there would be no issue with musical education in the UK. You need to read the music in front of you, while watching the conductor. On top of that you need to listen to what's happening in the music around you, and that's all before you actually play the instrument and think about the notes, the dynamics and the wiggling of your fingers and letting the sound out.
Perseverance. Oh boy, as someone who isn't a fan of hard work, this really was a tricky one for me. But sure enough, 12 years of practice and look where I am! It takes so much time and effort to learn an instrument and to understand the music. It really does pay off, I promise!
Responsibility. You never know responsibility really as a child, and when you're holding £1500 worth of instrument in your hand, you become so protective. It is also your responsibility to make the time and effort to practice and to get better.

I really can go on and on and on about the other benefits I've had (memory, maths, reading, concentration. anxiety reduction, physical stamina, sense of achievement), but I think you get the picture, right?

I have no idea where I would be right now if I wasn't introduced to music. I am very lucky that my home-town had such an active music service, and I am very thankful to them for allowing me to have the opportunities I was given, which has lead to where I am in life right now.

It therefore really distresses me that there are schools and areas that don't have the funding for giving children the chances I had when I was their age. It could give them a future. It could keep a child from a life of drug addiction and abuse. It could keep a child from the streets.

So please, if you have an instruments lying around the house, take them to your local Oxfam where they will be found a home and loved once again.

I can't imagine life without music, so please, let's #DontStopTheMusic.

Romantic Confidence

Credit

My most popular post on here is Romantic Expectations, but after a few things have happened to me that I'm going to share with you, I've realised that sometimes you have to take the future of your love life into your own hands.

As most girls will understand the excruciating pain of liking a guy, but not being sure if they don't like you back, so therefore don't want to risk rejection by telling them.

I have changed a lot this year. I have grown in confidence and I like the person I am (apart from the extra six pounds that appeared over the summer. I don't like them). There is nothing wrong with having the confidence to tell someone how you are feeling.

There's this guy, right, who I get along with. Really, really well. Everyone said that there was something between us. I'd liked him on and off since I'd known him, and even when I didn't like him, I was very attracted to him. So one day, I was in the gym, pumping the iron, and I'd worked myself up to tell him, I told him everything, and he politely said that he didn't feel the same. We are still the bestest of friends and we very much respect each other. It also gave me the freedom to move on and to accept that nothing ever will happen. I'm not sorry about it, I told him the truth and I wasn't particularly sad when he didn't feel the same either. It was more of an inner-peace.
To be honest, I don't think we'd make a great couple anyways.....

ON THE OTHER HAND:

There's this other guy, right, that I had also had a thing for. (I've been single for the most part of a year, don't judge me!!!) I had accepted that nothing was going to happen a long time ago. Still, a girl can dream, right? Anyway, we were at a party together and were chatting and flirting away. I just came out and told him, and he said that he felt the same. Unfortunately as I'm moving to Prague on saturday (aaaaargh) nothing could happen. I am so glad that I told him and he told me, but I know that if I hadn't of said it first, neither of us would have been any of the wiser.

I didn't tell them that I was declaring my undying love to them, if any of you get the wrong idea.... I just told them honestly how I'd been feeling. That I'd liked them for a while. Simple. :)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you like someone, go for it. It doesn't matter what happens after, but you're doing this for you and no one else. I am a very strong believer in "if it's meant to be" and it will be, but sometimes you just have to take that one leap of faith to take control of your destiny.

Daily Diaries | Days Filled With Nothing

Ok, so my days haven't been completely filled with nothing, but it certainly feels that way. Because my foot has been oh so painful, I can't drive, I can barely walk; which means I can't really leave the house.

I went back to the doctors, who sent me to A & E, only to find out that one doctor is telling me to rest and the other is saying to exercise......which do I do?! Good ol' NHS.

I've been catching up on True Blood and Gossip Girl, watching Breakfast at Tiffany's (I am in love with Audrey Hepburn) and baking some peanut butter and oat cookies.

Although, yesterday, me and my father did end up going to visit my grandmother, and we went for a Toby Carvery. Never had one before, and I had the nut roast. So delicious.

Oh, I've also been reading "Meet Me at the Cupcake Cafe" by Jenny Colgan. Seriously, I can't put it down!!

The Book Tag

I saw this post over on The Giggly Blogger and I knew immediately that this was for me. I love reading so so so much and so I'd love to spread the word (excellent pun there.....)

- Do you have a certain place where you read?

My bed. It's the most relaxing place to curl up and read a good story. 

- Bookmark or a random piece of paper?

I'm one of these awful people that fold down the corner of the page. I know, I'm a horrible person. *hangs head in shame* BUT IN MY DEFENCE - I always end up losing a book mark....

- Can you stop reading at any moment or do you have to finish the chapter?

I usually try to finish the chapter, unless I fell asleep or had to stop for some particular reason.

- Do you eat or drink whilst reading?

No. I'm so desperately clumsy that I drop crumbs everywhere/spill anything. Don't want a soggy book now, do we?

- Can you read whilst listening to music/ watching tv?

Nope. I get far too distracted. 

- One book at a time or several at once?

Oh one at a time. I can barely keep up with one, let alone any others. I've tried reading loads, but I'd end up picking a favourite and just reading that one and then I lose my place in the others. Too much hassle. I'll stick to one.

- Reading at home or everywhere?

EVERYWHERE. When I'm in college, I literally take my book everywhere. It's perfect for waiting for practice rooms/on the bus/chillin'.

- Reading out loud or silently in your head?

In my head. 

- Do you skip pages?

No!!!! That really ought to be a crime!!!

- Breaking the spine or keeping it new?

I don't understand people who don't break the spine. I once dated a guy who didn't, and when I borrowed his copy of The Da Vinci Code, I was so scared of breaking it in case he shouted at me and I was terrified of the book. Sorry, but life is too short.

- Do you write in books?

Sometimes. If there's something that's really caught my eye then I'll underline it.

I'm going to tag aaaaall of you. If you enjoy reading/books/whatever then please take a few minutes to finish this! :) 

Harri xxx 

Socialising Antisocially?!

source: Pinterest

It has come to my attention recently, that many people feel the need to be on their phones at the same time as spending time with friends.

Let me give you an example:
A few years ago, I met up with a very close friend of mine for the day. I hadn't seen her for a while, so I was really looking forward to spending the day catching up and having a good gossip. She then spent the entire day texting her boyfriend. I felt really......what's the word...... put out. I had made the effort to put the whole day aside for her, but she couldn't do the same for me. What was the point of her even bothering to see me if she was glued to her phone the entire time?

I can't help but wonder, are phones more important to people than their friends?

I work as a waitress in a little seaside restaurant, in a small village in Pembrokeshire. I have noticed through the many hours I've spent there, that so many families sit in silence while they are all gazing at the little screens, that have taken over our lives. Not only that, but many of these families ask me "do you have wifi here?" Our wifi has a reputation of being a little temperamental, but what surprises me is the look of disappointment on the face of the asker at the thought of having to spend the entire evening speaking to their parents.

I mean, God forbid you have to have an actual conversation face-to-face while you're on a family holiday.

I know I have touched on this subject before, with my Look Up  post a few months back, but for some reason, this subject is very close to my heart, and I do not understand why people feel the need to spend the quality face-to-face time they should be having with one person, glued to the piece of plastic in their hands speaking to another.

If I had a boyfriend, and I was spending the day with people that I loved, I would tell him that and if he doesn't understand that, then frankly, he shouldn't be in my life. I think it's controlling, unhealthy and possibly damaging the relationship to be in a constant conversation for all hours of the day. What left do you have to talk about when you see each other?

Obviously, I do see the benefits of mobile phones and being able to reach someone instantaneously. Emergencies, for example. "Help, can you get this spider out of my room please?!" (A genuine text I have sent....)

Does anyone else agree with me here? Am I the only one?

Daily Diaries | Sun, Sea and Injuries

I began this week by doing an 8 mile hike from Tenby to Manorbier along the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path. Mother and I are attempting to walk all 812 miles of the Wales coastline.

Tenby

Monday-Thursday was spent on holiday in Malta with my bestest and oldest friend. I'm not going to write too much about this, because it was our holiday and we went to escape the real world, so if you guys don't mind, I'll keep it that way for now. 

However, Valletta is absolutely gorgeous. If you ever find yourself on the little island of Malta, take a day just to wander the picturesque streets of the medieval capital city.

We took the ferry to Gozo for a beach day. It was so windy we basically in the midsts of a sandstorm on the stunning Ramla Bay.

We watched the beautiful sunset from a bus stop at the ferry port. (Not exactly what we had in mind, which made it more memorable!!!)

On the final evening, I managed to injure my foot. I hobbled my way to the airport to go home, when we landed I limped my way onto a train all the way home. I went to the doctors, was sent to the hospital for an X-ray, but luckily nothing is broken. So I'm just limping around the place in a lot of pain. But hey, at least I have something to remember my little break away, right!?

What did you guys do this week? :)

Daily Diaries | Flats, Physio, Hair and Camera

So I thought that I'd join in the Daily Diaries link up over on The Lotus Creative (one of my fave blogs to read) just as a way to summarise my day-to-day life that one may overlook when thinking of things to blog. So every friday I'm going to just give you guys a compact summary of my week :)

So this week there has been a lot of changes in my life. I have a flat! I have somewhere to live when I move to Prague! It's a massive flat, right in the centre of the city, only a 20 minute walk from college and I can't wait to make the place my own.

I have queer feet. That's right, there's been a reason why I get shooting pains up my legs while I run. My feet are out of alignment, so my leg muscles have to work extra hard in order to get the momentum to run. I have some exercises and stretches to help, as well as a few brands of trainers to look at investing in.

My hair's a different colour! It's a dark brown-y, red-y sort of colour. Finally the horrible gingery blonde caused by faded colour is no more.

If ya follow me on Instagram I'm sure you'll have seen this. (@nghazzie)

This morning I went into town and invested in a lovely new camera for my travels next year. I can't wait to go outside and try it out.


 

Feeling Lost in The Blogging World

Right, so I'm fairly new to this world. That's not news. I am so overwhelmed by everything because everyone else on here seems to know exactly what they are doing.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I use Blogger, but I had a second blog for a while with one of my Bezzies on Wordpress and now I love Wordpress and now don't like Blogger quite so much but I don't know if/how I can transfer everything.

I can't seem to get the formatting on my blog right no matter how hard I try. It just doesn't look right. I don't know how to break out of the Blogger templates.

There are so many rules. I've frequently searched "top tips for bloggers" into Google, and there seems to be so many rules! Always have pictures. Blog every day. Don't blog every day, it's all about quality not quantity. It's in the labels. It's important to always know what direction you're going in. 

Why do I need pictures? For example, this post is about me feeling lost and overwhelmed, and to be honest, a little frustrated at the amount (or lack of) traffic to my blog. So why do I need a picture?

All I know is that I enjoy writing. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with the world, and I'd like to know if anyone agrees or disagrees. I enjoy reading other people's blogs, I like knowing about the beauty products people are loving and their travel experiences and their fitness regimes and their recipes. I do keep a blogging book so I can jot down my thoughts, but at the end of the day I write for myself. Why do I need to follow all of these rules?

And finally.... I see these success stories of people who get to 2000 followers in 8 months or 800 followers in 5 months and so on. How did you do it?

I sort of feel like I'm a minuscule person standing on a tiny pebble in the middle of a crowded square and all the giant people that I look up to can't hear me shouting at the top of my lungs.

This is a cry for help and advice. If anyone could please part with even the tiniest amount of their wisdom I will be forever grateful!

Thank you. :) xxx

Returning from the Undead

I know this title is a little exaggerated....but that's what it feels like!

I mentioned over a MONTH ago that I wanted to blog more..... that totally happened didn't it.

Life happened. Life got in the way. I've been away on orchestra. I've been working. I've been exhausted. I've been sorting my life out before I pack it all up and move to Prague.

It's been difficult. And scary.

I've been coping in the usual ways; you know, eating lots of ice cream, going to the gym and burying my head in the sand and pretending nothing is happening. All very healthy ways of coping with stress (not). But seriously though, things are beginning to come together. I have a flat to live, I'm speaking to people who are also going, and I'm slowly but surely learning the language.

I'm scared, but it's ok to be scared. Good things happen when one pushes themselves out of their comfort zone. And that's what I'm doing. Good things will happen and I will learn a lot.

I've missed writing on here, and I actually wrote when I was feeling at my most down and most stressed out, but I decided against it. I strive for positivity on here, in my writing and in my life. I was feeling anything but, HOWEVER, I feel like I've come out the other side feeling stronger and more determined for a challenge than ever.

Lots of love to you all and thanks for being so patient with me. xxx

Things That Make Me Happy

 I woke up this morning in a foul mood. Don't know why, but I was all (as the welsh say) cyntachu. There is no translation for that word. Sorry.
I did nothing differently this morning, but nothing seemed to be going right.

So I thought I'd make a list of all the small day-to-day things I am grateful for, and the things that give me pleasure in life:

my favourite shower gel | reading | oboe | playing something right | late night phone calls | cwtches | cute texts | dinner with friends | film nights | exploring new places | tidy rooms | my harry potter t-shirt | listening to music | having me-time | baking | fancy dress | food | knitting | yoga | writing letters | receiving letters | doing right in the world | little victories | family time | travelling | my hair looking good without effort | finding bargains in charity shops | chivalry | tea | smiling | disney | bubble baths | parcels | cinema trips | smell of pages | cats

view from my kitchen

Possibly the coolest cat ever

What makes you happy? :)

Self Esteem

They say that if you were to walk past yourself in the street, you wouldn't recognise yourself. Everyone has a very distorted image of themselves. I didn't believe this, until I saw this photo:

Its not a special photo. I'm frowning for goodness sake. It's me accidentally in a piccie that Mother was taking of an old car at a vintage car convention down on our local beach just after I had got home for the summer. I had just thrown some clothes on that I thought was fairly suitable to be seen in and put my hair up in a messy bun. I hadn't seen these photos until about a week ago when Mother was showing them to a family friend....I was looking and all of a sudden I blurted out "omg that' s me!!"

I didn't recognise myself.

I have mentioned in a past post that I am happy with the way I look. I am, most of the time. Some days I think urgh I look so fat or why are my arms so flabby? or even I've been going to the gym for ages, I can't see any changes! but just because I have bad days doesn't mean I'm not confident with the way I look. It has taken me years and years for me to get to this place. I haven't like the way I looked since the age of about 11 when I started secondary school. It didn't help that I was such a fussy eater that I only ate junk food. If someone said that I looked beautiful, I didn't believe them because I thought that they had to say it.
Even when at the age of 16 when I lost so much weight and I dropped down to 7st 8, I still thought I looked too fat. It was a really unhealthy relationship with my body and with myself.

Now, however, I've been working out, I've been going to the gym for about a year, doing various different exercises (yoga, tai chi, weight lifting, running, cycling, swimming....) and I've come to like my body.

BUT

I feel that in today's society, so many people don't like the way they look, that I am almost afraid of saying that I look and feel good in the fear of someone thinking that I think too much of myself or something. I realised recently that in the past, I felt like I couldn't like the way I looked. 

Think of it like this: if you've worked really hard on a painting, then you're obviously going to be proud of it and you're going to want to show it to others and tell people, aren't you? It's the same with me, it's not as if I'm going to start running around naked, but why should I put myself down, after years of doing so, when I'm proud of all the hours I've spent at the gym?

When I look in the mirror, I no longer look at my flaws, I brush past them. I see hard work that I've been putting in is starting to pay off. I look at what is good about me, what I think others might like about me, and best of all, when I get dressed, I accentuate my features.

If you're walking down the street, you don't see people and think "oooh their arms are a little flabby" or "urgh they're clearly having a fat day today" do you? (if you do, then...um....not really sure where to go from here.....) You're more likely to think "wow, look at their bum, that's a great bum" or "their hair is so shiney", right?

Why don't you do that about yourself?

Monty Python Live!!!

Man oh man, I can't believe I haven't shared this with you guys yet!

If anyone from college was sat in the refectory on the 25th of November at approximately 10am, you would have heard a scream. That scream was me getting my hands on tickets for the only night that Monty Python were re-uniting in the O2. (they released more shows that day, but I had the original day!) I had been sat hunched over about 4 different electronical devices since the morning, and had been in about 2 queues for around an hour and a half, but I did it. I later found out that the tickets had sold out within 45 seconds of them being released. I was so shocked that I managed to get them that I cried. Then rang my Dad to tell him that I managed to get them!

After 8 months of waiting, July 1st arrived. Me, my dad and my friend, Mia, all headed down to the O2 (which was humongous). I'd never been there before, it's amazing! The show was so incredible. I saw people dressed as various knights, and walking around with Gumby handkerchiefs on their heads. We walked in, and the stage looked incredible! My photo completely doesn't do it justice. We were sat right at the top as I just wanted to get the cheapest tickets, but they weren't bad at all!

When they walked out it was amazing, and I was laughing from start of the show right through to the end! The songs, the choreography, the humour, everything was just right! They even paid a little tribute to Graham Chapman (RIP) by having his sketches on a big screen. So wonderful. I can't actually put into words how much I enjoyed the evening! Think of all your favourite MP sketches... they were in it. The camp army march, the argument clinic, the silly walk had a dance of it's own, and of course, the Dead Parrot Sketch.

The five of them were clearly having a such a great time performing all their old sketches, and their improvisation is incredible. At one point, John Cleese had to walk off the stage because he was laughing so much. He also spoke to the audience and said "I'm not impressed with Argentina's performance tonight" to which Michael Palin just said "Are you talking to the audience? Section 24 B of the Comdey Sketch act clearly states no talking to the audience." So excellent. They also had a couple of celebrity guests! During the Galaxy Song, Prof. Brian Cox rudely interrupted and began to prove that the song was scientifically incorrect, to which Prof. Steven Hawking (!!!!) then ran him over and went flying off into a spaceship singing it. Steven Fry also made an appearance, he came on stage with a paper bag over his head during the spoof TV show, Blackmail.

I'm very glad to have seen them, it was a wonderful experience and I did not regret a single penny that was spent on those tickets.

Harri's Wondrous World????

"What is this new name?" you may be asking. I've decided to make some changes to my blog. I've been wanting to do it for a while, as I hated "of Mice, Men and Musicians". I chose it because I thought it sounded cool after reading it somewhere. Of course at the time, I didn't know what I wanted from doing this, so I just put it down to have something. I also realised fairly early on that this blog wasn't ever going to have anything to do with music. Don't get me wrong, it's a massive part of my life and I love it, but for me, I like to have some things that are separate to music. I don't want to be the type of person that can only be defined by one thing.

And if you're wondering, I have based it on a track from the Harry Potter soundtrack. But hey, I'm a massive fan! I simply could not resist. Think about it too, my posts are from my head, and you do get to have an insight into the world in which I'm living (which is pretty wondrous, even if I may say so myself!)

I've been thinking now for quite a few months now, that I would like to take my blog a little further. I began this blog as a way to structure the thoughts in my head. Sometimes I have so many ideas and opinions going round my mind I don't know what to do with them. I guess it's a form of creative outlet. And my blog is mine. It is my space to voice the things in my head.

I've spoken about the change in my life quite a few times, and I guess that a change in my little online space is fitting? Hopefully over the summer I'm going to give it a little bit more of an overhaul to make it look a little better. (Once I figure out how to do that......)

I'd like to try and write a little more often now. Next year I'm hopefully going to be travelling, experiencing new things and going on adventures. So I'll easily have lots to write about, however over the summer, I have lots of time to think and to organise my thoughts (and also to go on adventures!)

This has been a bit of a ramble-y post, but yeah, I'm still here, I'll hopefully be here a little more often, but just a well-needed change. I'm proud of myself for creating this little outlet, but man, I hated the name more than I can say.

Changed for the Better

I'm currently (attempting) to pack up my room, as another year in college is over, and it's soon time for me to move back home for the summer, before embarking on my brand new adventure next year.

Anyways, I can't help but to reflect on the past year. So much has happened, and I really feel like I have grown as a person.

If you knew me this time last year, I was a shell of a person, I was in such an unreachable, dark place. I was having panic attacks every other day, I'd pushed all of my friends away and they thought I was going mental. I laugh about it now.

I have made amazing friends this year, as well as become much closer to some that I already knew. I realised early on that I could hand-pick everyone in my life, which gave me a massive sense of control over those who influenced me. Each and every person in my life right now each has their personal little hand print on my life and the person I am right now. I admire each of them in their own way, whether it being due to their faith, their ability to always pick themselves up, their strength, their ability to always make friends, their infinite amount of wisdom, and the little ways they show they care. I'm not going to name names, but they all hopefully know who they are. I am so blessed to have them in my life, and I wouldn't wish to have it other way.

Also, as I mentioned above, I feel like I've grown so much as a person this year. I am not afraid what others think of me, as I absolutely do not believe in changing myself for other people. My confidence is at an all time high, and I think this has had an affect on my work, playing and relationships with others. I am finally happy for the first time in my life with the way my body looks. I've been looking after it and I've been going to the gym so much more. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been okay with the way I look, and so it just shows how much my mindset has changed for the better this year.

I am just really happy at the moment, and I am so excited to see where my life takes me. This may be a little ramble-y and not really making much sense, but I just wanted to share with you guys how happy I am with where I am in life. I finally have some sort of direction now, whereas before I was just wandering aimlessly in the giant world. I have a goal that I'm working towards for my post-college life, and although those closest to me know what it is, I'll share with the rest of you at a later date, as it is still something quite personal to me and I'd like to share it when I know more for definite.

There are some things that I'm not currently happy with in my life (a lack of a love life........sigh), but the things that are happening at the moment really make up for it. I do still get little panic attacks, and I have my off days where I just eat chocolate and pig out and cry in front of The Notebook, but that's just normal, right?

Travels | Belfast and Northern Ireland

1 week before my recital, I jetted off for a well-needed break to Belfast. I didn't realise I needed a break, but I feel so much happier and calmer than I did a week ago. Anyway, there was a reason, Mother was doing her first public speech on the mistakes on property.

I was meant to be meeting my parents out there, so when my plane landed at 12:30, I grabbed my backpack and hopped on a bus. The first thing I noticed was that the people of Northern Ireland are so friendly! While I was waiting for the bus, a girl around my age just said hello to me, which is something that barely happens in Britain. And then while I was wandering around the centre, someone passed me and said "there's a penny on the floor over there, go pick it up and you'll have a lucky day". How nice is that?! I think more people should go out of their way to make a stranger's day a little bit brighter.

Anyway, I digress. While I waited for my parents, I found this adorable little cupcake shop where I ordered a delicious bowl of chickpea, lentil and bacon soup, a great big hot chocolate and a lemon and white chocolate cupcake for lunch. It was delicious, and a proper locals place. A little out of the proper centre (I would no way have found it if I hadn't of gone right instead of left out of the bus station - away from the centre....), it was so lovely. It was called The Little Cupcake Cafe if anyone is interested. I would highly recommend it. The food and cupcakes were all homemade, and cost me around £5.70!

Anyway, I then wasted about 2 and a half hours wandering around the city, and getting a feel of it (all with my backpack on my back), before eventually my parents' plane had landed and they'd picked up the car. I found my way up to a viewing gallery of the city, and although I'm a little wobbly when it comes to heights, all the steps and the collywobbles were worth the view.

When my parents arrived we didn't have that much time to relax and settle into the hotel, before we had to rush back out to the meeting.

The next day, we got up, had breakfast in another really adorable cafe, and the breakfast was delicious - I had a bacon and mushroom omelette, and it was cooked to perfection! After breakfast we headed out for a roadtrip to the Giant's Causeway. We drove along the coastal road, and the views were spectacular! Some pictures are below.

I then had a plane to catch at 8:30am the next morning, so after we got back, we had a spot of dinner at TGI Friday's (YUM), and hit the sack.

It was a great few days, and it was the first time I'd ever flown by myself. I hoped that it would have calmed my constant wanderlust (at least for a little), but it did the opposite. As soon as I landed back in Manchester, I wanted to jump on another plane and travel somewhere else. Maybe in the next few weeks.....

I'M MOVING TO PRAGUE!

As most of you guys know, I am going on an Erasmus exchange next year. I'm going to be studying at the Academy of Performing Arts in Prague!!

The application process was vigorous, with so much paperwork to fill in and audition tapes to video...if any of you guys saw me in February, I was not a very calm bunny.

I was lucky enough to be offered two places (I haven't head back from the third, but I'd like to get the full set ;) ). One offer came through right at the beginning of the Easter holidays, and I sort of kept it on the DL, apart from my closest friends, as I didn't want to start telling people until everything was finalised and sorted. By the time I had been offered a room in a student halls in Bergen, Norway, it started to look very official that it was there I was to be headed. 

HOWEVER. There was one awful day in college, after a number of pretty bad days, and I decided to go home for an undetermined amount of time. The morning I was set to head home, my ipad dinged the email ding at the unsociable hour of 07:43. I grumbled, got up to see what it was expecting it to be some sort of Amazon newsletter or something, and saw it was an acceptance from Prague! I just thought "huh, look at that" and went back to bed.

So my nice relaxing break at home ended up with me basically sat at the kitchen table deliberating between the two different paths my life could venture. I was weighing up the pros and cons, and consulting my friends, parents and the cats for advice. Eventually, the night before I was due to come back up to college in Manchester, I made the snap desicion. Prague it was.

It was one of the hardest desicions ever. Do I go for a country where everything was already organised and ready to go, a university place with the opportunity of meeting people who study other things, and where I had already planned my life and traveling for the next year, but basically didn't allow me to have a summer holiday and give me constant money fear? Or do I go for the city that I had loved for years, very accessible to the rest of Europe, 88p beer, but yet have no idea on where to live, and no clue how to speak a word of Czech (apart from "ahoj!")? These thoughts just kept going round and round and round and round my head. I know there are much, much, much worse situations to be in, I mean the Oh-No-I've-Been-Offered-More-Than-One-Erasmus-Place isn't exactly a life or death desicion, but it's still going to have a massive impact on the Rest Of My Life. 

Anyways, a whole new life with new experiences, new friends and new opportunities is just around the corner, and I am SO EXCITED. Of course, I'm worried that I'll leave College now and everyone will forget that I exist, and I worry that maybe some of my friendships won't be as strong as I thought to keep going while I'm living on the continent. I hope not. Obviously, I'm going to be blogging my way through my journey in Prague, so you can keep up to date with what is occurring while I'm out there.

Have a photo of Prague. It doesn't really capture any of the city's magnificent beauty, but it is the view from the castle, which is just a little walk up from where I'll be studying! 

Also:

On the subject of blogs, I would like to change the name of this one, if anyone has any ideas, please let me know! 

One of my Best Friends, Mia, and I have started a blog together. It's still in its early stages, but it's more of a lifestyle, chatty type blog where we basically write to each other. If you're interested, you can see find us here: http://twolittlebricks.wordpress.com

AND FINALLY another one of my Best Friends is doing an amazing thing for charity. She's shaving off her hair. And if you know Beth, you'll know she has an Afro!! If you don't, scroll down and you'll find some photos of her, but I'm so so proud and excited to be a part of this journey that she is about to embark! If you would like to donate, you can click on this link right here: https://www.justgiving.com/Beth-Davis2

I appreciate that this post is a little news-y, and quite different to my other posts, but there are a lot of exciting things happening at the moment and I just wanted to share them all! 

Dressing Room Syndrome

So today, I decided I would treat myself to a brand new outfit. I've been eating much more healthily and I've been going to the gym a lot, and generally feeling good about my body for the first time in a while, and felt like I needed a treat (and procrastinating from essay, but that's something else entirely....)

Anyways, I skipped down to one of my favourite stores in the pretty dismal town in which I live, Miss Selfridge. I did have an outfit in mind, a lovely pair of dungarees that I had my eye on from the store in Manchester, but I wanted to try them on. Our store is fairly small, so they didn't have them. But alas! I did not let this get me down! I browsed around, picked out a couple of outfits and went into the changing rooms.

This is where everything went pear shaped. I looked in the mirror, and I looked pear-shaped. None of the outfits looked any good. My legs looked fat, my stomach seemed to have doubled in size, and I even looked shorter than normal. At a measly 5 foot 3.5, that's an achievement in itself. I had to put all the pretty outfits back. It honestly made me feel that all my hard work recently had been for nothing. 

Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm seeing a distorted view of myself in the mirror normally and the dressing room mirror doesn't lie? I'm not saying I'm fat, by any standard, I know I'm not fat, but maybe I'm trying on the wrong clothes? Or does the dressing room mirror lie, and shows a distorted reflection? Or is it down to unfortunate lighting? 

It makes me feel like I don't want to buy anymore clothes and I feel about a size gazillion everytime I step into a changing room. Does anyone else feel like this too? Or maybe I'm insane and just over-thinking everything. 

Been a while....

My dear readers, I believe this is the longest I have gone without writing my inner-most thoughts and feelings upon my web-log. Alas, I have my reasons, some of which will become clear in the not too distant future.

No, but seriously, I've been having a severe case of writers block. I tried, honestly I did. Every other day I'd sit down ready to tap away at my keyboard, but I'd open up a new page, and nothing would come out. Or if it did, it was sheer garbage. If I could, I would have ripped up the virtual page on which I am writing, thrown it in a bin and burnt it.

I've had a lot of things on my mind recently, and writing, for me, is a way to organise some of the things that have been racing around my head. I enjoy it, it's calming. The power of words never fails to astonish me, but recently, I felt that nothing was on my side.

I just believe that with a recital looming around the corner, trying to eat healthily (chocolate is a definite weakness....), so many essays needed to be handed in, blogging stresses, reed stresses, going to the gym, practising, my pathetic excuse of a love life (oh, the hardship of being a 20 year old singleton, woe is me), and on top of all of that trying to get my head around the fact that I'm moving to a different country next year. I shall do a whole other blog post on this once everything is sorted. I thought it was but now there's another complication. Excellent. So many things have been happening in my life, but at the same time, nothing has really been happening.

I find this term very difficult, as we're sort of left to our own devices, I guess, and I'm not very good at doing that. I'm the sort of person that, unless my heart is completely in something, I need a good prod to keep me on track and not to get drifted off into the world of "I'm going to plan a holiday that I'm never going to be able to afford".

So anyway, I'm currently at home at the back of beyond in Wales, just to have a change of scenery, and hopefully I'll be feeling much more clear headed and focused when I return to the Land of the Manc.

I apologise for this long and rambly post, I know it's not the sort of post I usually do, but hey, you can't always get what you want in the world can you?

P.S. I'm going to try and be a bit better with my blogging. I mean, 20 days not writing anything is a bit naughty, isn't it?