Erasmus Applications Advice

I know that its around about the time of Erasmus applications and trust me, I know what it's like. It is a complete nightmare. It will become the bane of your life for what feels like months on end.

However, it is totally worth all of the effort.

I thought I'd share some of my experiences and tips and tricks and what I did for those who feel a little stuck on what to do. Believe me, I wish I had had something/someone to guide me.

(This is going to be catered for the conservatoire students, as that's what I have experience in)

I think the Most Important Thing about undertaking a rigorous application process like this, is to remember why you're doing it. 
- If it's to improve your understanding and learning of your instrument, great!
- If you feel like you're not getting enough opportunities in college, perfect!
- If you just need to escape for a few months, fabulous!
- Knowing why you're going through with this will be what's driving you forward throughout everything.
Whatever your reasons are, they are your reasons, and no one can take that away from you. They may not be what other people considered the "right reasons". but they are yours.

Research
Oh my word, my ex-flatmates would be able to tell you the hours and hours I spent trawling the internet researching the endless amount of schools that were suddenly available to me. You're only given 3 choices. Use them wisely.
- Research the schools, the opportunities, the teachers, the style of teaching, past students, current students, anything and everything.
- Speak to people you know who applied/went to the schools you're looking at.
- Find the Erasmus groups for the city on Facebook. Believe me, they're there, and it's super useful to see what's going on in the city!
- Oh, and research the cost of living within the country. There was one point where I had a short-list of the Czech Republic, Norway, Denmark and Switzerland. I told my father and he said "I think you've managed to choose 4 of the most expensive places in Europe." After looking some more, I revised my list.
- Contact the school international department (usually the information is on the website) to say you're interested in applying and ask what the requirements are for your instrument.
- Also, be realistic with your choices. Don't go applying to the Paris Conservatoire or Vienna Conservatoire if your teacher doesn't think that you can do it. Try to aim for places that you feel are attainable and within your reach.

Learning Agreements and ECTS
Oh trust me, even after you've completed your application, these do not go away. I submitted my application 9 months ago, and been studying here for 6 weeks, and I'm still not convinced it's correct.
After you've made your decision on where to go, you print off a scary looking form, with scary looking words on it.Once you have your head around it, it's pretty simple.
- ECTS will become a thing that you hear far too often. ECTS stands for the European Credit Transfer System. Each school has a certain number of credits that every student has to gain in order to progress to the next year. The complicated thing is trying to match up the subjects available and the amount of credits that you need.
- Contact the school international department (again) and ask if you can have a breakdown of their modules and courses available, if its not available online.
- After you have found out how much each course is worth in credits, make sure you have your calculator handy, and write down enough subjects until you have 60 ECTS.

Recording
Man oh man, was this stressful. I booked a studio in college, got an accompanist, gathered my friends (one of whom is luckily a techie wizz with cameras and such), and videoed my audition. I played Handel's Concerto in C Minor, Britten's Pan and.....something else which I've forgotten. Sorry. But best stick to the standard 'two contrasting pieces'! My friend very generously edited it for me and then I burned it onto 3 DVDs and popped them into fancy plastic wallets with my learning agreements for RNCM to send to the other schools. OH! Don't forget to have your teacher validate the recording to make sure that it's actually you. 

After it's all submitted, it gets given the once-over from college, they let you know if there are any problems (there most likely will be.....!) and then send them off. Then the waiting game begins.

When I got my first offer, I was in such a state of shock I managed to make a plate explode by cooking it on the hob.

In my opinion, although the application was hard, confusing, and exhausting (I was running round like a headless chicken for most of the time), a few months of hard work will definitely pay off when you get there, and you're about to embark on the best/scariest/most exciting year of your life.

If you have any questions about applying, or want to find out more about why I applied to the places I did, then please don't hesitate to ask in the comments below or tweet me @angharadowen :)

Erasmus isn't a year of your life, it's your life in a year.

World Mental Health Awareness Day

Hello chaps.

I'm going to be speaking to you about something quite serious and quite close to my heart. Mental health.

The term "mental illness" has a lot of negative connotations with it, and it is an umbrella term for disorders such as anxiety, depression, stress, eating disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and PTSD.

So many people get affected by this every year, at any age.

I've suffered from my dose of mental illness, and looking back I've suffered more than once. The first few times I didn't know what was happening to me. The last time (which if you've been reading this blog for a while) will know that my most recent "attack" was just over a year ago.

As a result, my grades were affected in college, I lost my relationship and I lost some of my best friends. I believe that if those who turned from me in my time of need had understood what was happening to me and why I wasn't "the girl they met in freshers" (as someone delightfully put it), I would have had the strength to get better sooner. However, this was not the case, and I spent my entire second year in college rebuilding my life.

Just as a disclaimer, I'm not saying that I was completely faultless in this example. I was a monster.

Out of my 6 closest friends, 4 of them have suffered from various mental health issues. I have tried to be there as best as I could for them, but there have been times where I didn't understand what was going on. This also shows that there are lots and lots of people out there who are suffering right now and they may not have anyone to turn to.

Mental illness isn't always a long term thing, just like a common cold isn't permanent. However, if you don't treat your cold pretty quickly it can get much worse and you get very ill. It's the same for mental illnesses. except the symptoms are different for everyone, and are quite often much more severe.

I thought I was going crazy, My friends were saying that I was going crazy. I thought it was my fault. I didn't know who to talk to because I didn't want to seem like a burden.

This is pretty common for people who suffer from mental illness, and I urge everyone out there to get as much information about different disorders and how to cope if you begin feeling these symptoms or start to notice your friends showing signs of illness.

Please, for goodness sake, don't tell them that they're going crazy. Let them know in your own little way that you're there for them. If that is climbing into bed with them at 2pm because they haven't got the strength to get up, or buying them their favourite chocolate, holding their hand while they're panicking, or even giving them the chance to get away for a few days. They will appreciate it, and it will allow them to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope this has opened your mind to the severity, the commonness and the importance of understanding mental illnesses. If this post influences one person to help another, I couldn't even explain how happy that would make me.

Also, if you feel like you are becoming overwhelmed with scary feelings, and you feel trapped, then please please speak to someone you can trust. A friend, a teacher, a parent, a sibling, a doctor, anyone, and soon, mental illness will be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

Love you all,
Harri xxx

Romantic Confidence

Credit

My most popular post on here is Romantic Expectations, but after a few things have happened to me that I'm going to share with you, I've realised that sometimes you have to take the future of your love life into your own hands.

As most girls will understand the excruciating pain of liking a guy, but not being sure if they don't like you back, so therefore don't want to risk rejection by telling them.

I have changed a lot this year. I have grown in confidence and I like the person I am (apart from the extra six pounds that appeared over the summer. I don't like them). There is nothing wrong with having the confidence to tell someone how you are feeling.

There's this guy, right, who I get along with. Really, really well. Everyone said that there was something between us. I'd liked him on and off since I'd known him, and even when I didn't like him, I was very attracted to him. So one day, I was in the gym, pumping the iron, and I'd worked myself up to tell him, I told him everything, and he politely said that he didn't feel the same. We are still the bestest of friends and we very much respect each other. It also gave me the freedom to move on and to accept that nothing ever will happen. I'm not sorry about it, I told him the truth and I wasn't particularly sad when he didn't feel the same either. It was more of an inner-peace.
To be honest, I don't think we'd make a great couple anyways.....

ON THE OTHER HAND:

There's this other guy, right, that I had also had a thing for. (I've been single for the most part of a year, don't judge me!!!) I had accepted that nothing was going to happen a long time ago. Still, a girl can dream, right? Anyway, we were at a party together and were chatting and flirting away. I just came out and told him, and he said that he felt the same. Unfortunately as I'm moving to Prague on saturday (aaaaargh) nothing could happen. I am so glad that I told him and he told me, but I know that if I hadn't of said it first, neither of us would have been any of the wiser.

I didn't tell them that I was declaring my undying love to them, if any of you get the wrong idea.... I just told them honestly how I'd been feeling. That I'd liked them for a while. Simple. :)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you like someone, go for it. It doesn't matter what happens after, but you're doing this for you and no one else. I am a very strong believer in "if it's meant to be" and it will be, but sometimes you just have to take that one leap of faith to take control of your destiny.

Socialising Antisocially?!

source: Pinterest

It has come to my attention recently, that many people feel the need to be on their phones at the same time as spending time with friends.

Let me give you an example:
A few years ago, I met up with a very close friend of mine for the day. I hadn't seen her for a while, so I was really looking forward to spending the day catching up and having a good gossip. She then spent the entire day texting her boyfriend. I felt really......what's the word...... put out. I had made the effort to put the whole day aside for her, but she couldn't do the same for me. What was the point of her even bothering to see me if she was glued to her phone the entire time?

I can't help but wonder, are phones more important to people than their friends?

I work as a waitress in a little seaside restaurant, in a small village in Pembrokeshire. I have noticed through the many hours I've spent there, that so many families sit in silence while they are all gazing at the little screens, that have taken over our lives. Not only that, but many of these families ask me "do you have wifi here?" Our wifi has a reputation of being a little temperamental, but what surprises me is the look of disappointment on the face of the asker at the thought of having to spend the entire evening speaking to their parents.

I mean, God forbid you have to have an actual conversation face-to-face while you're on a family holiday.

I know I have touched on this subject before, with my Look Up  post a few months back, but for some reason, this subject is very close to my heart, and I do not understand why people feel the need to spend the quality face-to-face time they should be having with one person, glued to the piece of plastic in their hands speaking to another.

If I had a boyfriend, and I was spending the day with people that I loved, I would tell him that and if he doesn't understand that, then frankly, he shouldn't be in my life. I think it's controlling, unhealthy and possibly damaging the relationship to be in a constant conversation for all hours of the day. What left do you have to talk about when you see each other?

Obviously, I do see the benefits of mobile phones and being able to reach someone instantaneously. Emergencies, for example. "Help, can you get this spider out of my room please?!" (A genuine text I have sent....)

Does anyone else agree with me here? Am I the only one?

Feeling Lost in The Blogging World

Right, so I'm fairly new to this world. That's not news. I am so overwhelmed by everything because everyone else on here seems to know exactly what they are doing.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I use Blogger, but I had a second blog for a while with one of my Bezzies on Wordpress and now I love Wordpress and now don't like Blogger quite so much but I don't know if/how I can transfer everything.

I can't seem to get the formatting on my blog right no matter how hard I try. It just doesn't look right. I don't know how to break out of the Blogger templates.

There are so many rules. I've frequently searched "top tips for bloggers" into Google, and there seems to be so many rules! Always have pictures. Blog every day. Don't blog every day, it's all about quality not quantity. It's in the labels. It's important to always know what direction you're going in. 

Why do I need pictures? For example, this post is about me feeling lost and overwhelmed, and to be honest, a little frustrated at the amount (or lack of) traffic to my blog. So why do I need a picture?

All I know is that I enjoy writing. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with the world, and I'd like to know if anyone agrees or disagrees. I enjoy reading other people's blogs, I like knowing about the beauty products people are loving and their travel experiences and their fitness regimes and their recipes. I do keep a blogging book so I can jot down my thoughts, but at the end of the day I write for myself. Why do I need to follow all of these rules?

And finally.... I see these success stories of people who get to 2000 followers in 8 months or 800 followers in 5 months and so on. How did you do it?

I sort of feel like I'm a minuscule person standing on a tiny pebble in the middle of a crowded square and all the giant people that I look up to can't hear me shouting at the top of my lungs.

This is a cry for help and advice. If anyone could please part with even the tiniest amount of their wisdom I will be forever grateful!

Thank you. :) xxx

Small Things That Might Change Your Life

While doing my usual daily readings of the blogs I follow on Bloglovin, a theme appeared in a few posts, which was How To Be Happy or something similar. It was talking about the little things that you can do to make you feel a little more positive, or if you're simply stuck in a rut. The two posts that really stuck out for me were this one from one of my favourite blogs; Pretty Chit Chat, and this one by Zoella.

Over the past year I've discovered that doing lots of little things has had a complete change on my outlook and quality of my life. There have been numerous ups and downs (boys, pals, work, oboe, pretty much everything) but I thought I'd share with you some of the things that I found really useful when I felt I was stuck.

• YOGA - I cannot stress how important I find this. If its sunny, I like to go outside and practice there. Each position has a different meaning, and if you're really suffering from being stuck in the rut of life, the inverted positions will help you gain new perspective on things. Doing yoga in the morning is a gentle way to wake the body up, and the fluidity of the movement can help you Flow throughout the day. 

• MAKE UP - My friends would probably be able to tell you guys how much money time I like to spend on my face. It sounds really stupid, but I felt that when I bought new make up, I could almost paint on a new me in the morning. I really enjoy putting on my face, I can express my mood and feelings. Sometimes if I'm in a particularly bad mood in the morning, I'll put on bright eye make up and it really does make a difference. I find it soothing, relaxing, and it's the perfect bit of me-time to begin the day (after yoga, of course!!)

• HEALTHY DIET - I know, this is one of those things that everyone keeps talking about. Seriously though, I used to be one of the the most fussiest eaters of all time. Trying new foods and recipes really helped me overcome that, but I have found that since getting rid of junk food and refined sugars, and I've started eating more fruit, veg, healthy substitutions to puddings and drinking more water, not only have I lost weight, but my skin is clearer, I have a lot more energy, and I simply feel much better in myself. I am a strong believer in you are what you eat. 

• READING - Read whatever you want. Fiction, non-fiction, sci-fi, horror, whatever it is, believe me, it's better than sitting in front of a screen all day. Reading feeds the mind, and it allows you to get lost in so many different worlds, and you get to meet more people than you could ever imagine in these different worlds. Each book takes you on a journey. So why not begin now?

• STOP COMPLAINING - This really was a tough one for me, I mean, I am honestly never happier than if I have something to complain about. But complaining is negative, and we're trying to focus on keeping positive. So stop it. If you're in work and you're thinking "ooooh my feet hurt, I want to go home" instead think about how much money you've earned that shift, or something. This one does take time, because it involves changing habits and thought processes.

• GET OUT - On a bike. For a walk. On a run. Bungee jump. Travel. Whatever, just go. Going outside will help you be able to clear your head and it will get you away from sitting slumped in front of the computer mindlessly scrolling down Facebook for absolutely no reason.

• TREAT YOURSELF - There is nothing wrong with a little treat. If you have read the Chimp Paradox you will understand that your inner chimp often needs rewarding. Little treats now and then are great. If you think you deserve that pair of dungarees you've been lusting after, then go for it. Try not to abuse the treating though. Then it won't be a treat anymore, will it?

• GET RID - Someone or something making you miserable? Get rid of them. Why should you in your happy little bubble be allowing someone/something else to get you down? I know, easier said than done, but trust me, getting rid of the negative influences in your life works wonders.

• CLEANSING ENERGY - I was very sceptical when Mother first suggested I'd do this, but I went along with it any way. I can't explain how much better the energy of my bedroom was. If you spend a lot of time in one room, then it might be worth researching the different ways to cleanse the energy and to rid the room of the stagnant, murky, negative energy that has collected over the months/years. It will help you sleep, work, and feel better when you're in that environment again.   

I hope these help, even just a little. Let me know in the comments what small changes you do to make your life a more positive and happy place to be :) 

Self Esteem

They say that if you were to walk past yourself in the street, you wouldn't recognise yourself. Everyone has a very distorted image of themselves. I didn't believe this, until I saw this photo:

Its not a special photo. I'm frowning for goodness sake. It's me accidentally in a piccie that Mother was taking of an old car at a vintage car convention down on our local beach just after I had got home for the summer. I had just thrown some clothes on that I thought was fairly suitable to be seen in and put my hair up in a messy bun. I hadn't seen these photos until about a week ago when Mother was showing them to a family friend....I was looking and all of a sudden I blurted out "omg that' s me!!"

I didn't recognise myself.

I have mentioned in a past post that I am happy with the way I look. I am, most of the time. Some days I think urgh I look so fat or why are my arms so flabby? or even I've been going to the gym for ages, I can't see any changes! but just because I have bad days doesn't mean I'm not confident with the way I look. It has taken me years and years for me to get to this place. I haven't like the way I looked since the age of about 11 when I started secondary school. It didn't help that I was such a fussy eater that I only ate junk food. If someone said that I looked beautiful, I didn't believe them because I thought that they had to say it.
Even when at the age of 16 when I lost so much weight and I dropped down to 7st 8, I still thought I looked too fat. It was a really unhealthy relationship with my body and with myself.

Now, however, I've been working out, I've been going to the gym for about a year, doing various different exercises (yoga, tai chi, weight lifting, running, cycling, swimming....) and I've come to like my body.

BUT

I feel that in today's society, so many people don't like the way they look, that I am almost afraid of saying that I look and feel good in the fear of someone thinking that I think too much of myself or something. I realised recently that in the past, I felt like I couldn't like the way I looked. 

Think of it like this: if you've worked really hard on a painting, then you're obviously going to be proud of it and you're going to want to show it to others and tell people, aren't you? It's the same with me, it's not as if I'm going to start running around naked, but why should I put myself down, after years of doing so, when I'm proud of all the hours I've spent at the gym?

When I look in the mirror, I no longer look at my flaws, I brush past them. I see hard work that I've been putting in is starting to pay off. I look at what is good about me, what I think others might like about me, and best of all, when I get dressed, I accentuate my features.

If you're walking down the street, you don't see people and think "oooh their arms are a little flabby" or "urgh they're clearly having a fat day today" do you? (if you do, then...um....not really sure where to go from here.....) You're more likely to think "wow, look at their bum, that's a great bum" or "their hair is so shiney", right?

Why don't you do that about yourself?

Been a while....

My dear readers, I believe this is the longest I have gone without writing my inner-most thoughts and feelings upon my web-log. Alas, I have my reasons, some of which will become clear in the not too distant future.

No, but seriously, I've been having a severe case of writers block. I tried, honestly I did. Every other day I'd sit down ready to tap away at my keyboard, but I'd open up a new page, and nothing would come out. Or if it did, it was sheer garbage. If I could, I would have ripped up the virtual page on which I am writing, thrown it in a bin and burnt it.

I've had a lot of things on my mind recently, and writing, for me, is a way to organise some of the things that have been racing around my head. I enjoy it, it's calming. The power of words never fails to astonish me, but recently, I felt that nothing was on my side.

I just believe that with a recital looming around the corner, trying to eat healthily (chocolate is a definite weakness....), so many essays needed to be handed in, blogging stresses, reed stresses, going to the gym, practising, my pathetic excuse of a love life (oh, the hardship of being a 20 year old singleton, woe is me), and on top of all of that trying to get my head around the fact that I'm moving to a different country next year. I shall do a whole other blog post on this once everything is sorted. I thought it was but now there's another complication. Excellent. So many things have been happening in my life, but at the same time, nothing has really been happening.

I find this term very difficult, as we're sort of left to our own devices, I guess, and I'm not very good at doing that. I'm the sort of person that, unless my heart is completely in something, I need a good prod to keep me on track and not to get drifted off into the world of "I'm going to plan a holiday that I'm never going to be able to afford".

So anyway, I'm currently at home at the back of beyond in Wales, just to have a change of scenery, and hopefully I'll be feeling much more clear headed and focused when I return to the Land of the Manc.

I apologise for this long and rambly post, I know it's not the sort of post I usually do, but hey, you can't always get what you want in the world can you?

P.S. I'm going to try and be a bit better with my blogging. I mean, 20 days not writing anything is a bit naughty, isn't it?

Romantic Expectations

It has recently come to my attention that I think I may have fairly high expectations of the male gender. You know why this is? Chick flicks. And Disney.

I was sat watching What Happens in Vegas the other day, you know, the one with Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher (who is mighty fine in that film, I'd like to add), and as in every chick flick, darling Ashton upsets Cameron and she goes running off to sit on an island and he goes running after her. I don't think that happens in real life. I've never had Ashton Kutcher come running after me when I'm feeling a little sad.... I WISH. But seriously, every time a boy has upset me, or has broken up with me, there is a little part of me that hopes and dreams and wishes that he will come and do a great big Romantic Gesture. And he never has.

I remember when my first proper boyfriend and I broke up, he told me months later that he regretted the decision as soon as he woke up the next morning, and I told him that there was nothing I wanted more than to hear a knock on the door and to see his face. He told me that there were some days he just wanted to get on a bus to see me and to beg for my forgiveness. But he didn't. (If you're reading this....it's ok, I forgive you!!!!)

Take my sixth-form May Ball for example. I went to an all girls school, but the May Ball was for the students of my school and the boys school down the road. I wasn't particularly close with any of the guys to be honest, but there was still a little part of me that hoped and dreamed that when I arrived at the reception area there'd be a boy standing there with a corsage for me and declaring his undying love. It didn't happen.

Or, you know, everyone has that person who is a friend, but sort of more than a friend, as you can definitely sort of see something maybe happening with them, but you're not really sure how they feel (great English there, Harri). Well, I'm just saying that it would be nice if they announced in a lovely heart-warming manner that they feel the same about you. It will probably never happen.

I don't know why I bring about these expectations and hopes and dreams upon myself, because at the end of the day, no one is going to get hurt except me. Is it too much to ask though, to have one boy to do something really romantic and throw pebbles at my window, or to come find me if I was on holiday in Berlin or somewhere, or even plan out this great big surprise visit with all my friends and when I walk through the door they pick me up and announce that what he did was wrong, and he's sorry etc, like they do in the films.

I'm a complete hopeless romantic, I'm totally in love with the idea of true love, and I believe that my soul mate is walking around right now, maybe thinking these thoughts too. Perhaps I've already met them. That thought is really thrilling. I would be willing to do all of those things that I've listed above, but there's one thing that holds me back. The fear of rejection. Can you imagine, if I went to a lot of trouble to tell someone how I'm feeling and they turned around and said "Harri, I don't feel the same, but I hope we can stay friends". It's as if someone would have stabbed me in the heart, and just twisted the knife around to make sure that it hurt real good. Maybe people have had these thoughts about me, but aren't sure whether to act upon it.

If you have these ideas, or want to tell someone how you feel, then please, just do it. More often than not, the other person will really appreciate it, and they will hopefully reciprocate those feelings.

I don't know, maybe it's me, maybe I've watched one too many films, listened to too many musicals, sang too much Taylor Swift, read too many books and have this unrealistic expectation of men. Or maybe, this is what I'd like to believe - I just haven't met the right boy yet.

(I've also just realised that this may backfire and no boy will ever want anything to do with me ever again because they'll believe that they'll never live up to my expectations. To be honest, unless you're a perfect mix of Harry Potter, Peeta Mellark, Captain Antonio Corelli and Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, Kristoff from Frozen or Eugene Fitzherbert, you won't, but please don't let that put you off.)

Rumours

Forgive me, dear friends, for I have not written in over a week. I apologise. Let us move on.

This has been bothering me for a while, something that I fail to understand: why do people go out of their way to make other people miserable?

My friends have often used the word "schadenfreude" when describing me, but I would never plan to make other people sad for my happiness. I just enjoy a bad party so much more if I know that everyone else is having a bad time, and it's not just me. That's not so bad is it? 

I just do not understand. What makes them feel the need to deliberately say something that may or may not be true, and none of their business, about somebody else? What did that other person do to them? Is it to gain popularity? Maybe they dislike someone and would like to make their lives miserable? Who knows.

I can only speak for myself, I enjoy a lovely bit of juicy gossip as much as the next guy, but I would never, ever, slightly exaggerate or even make something up about someone else. It really bothers me that people feel the need to do this. Surely if you dislike someone, wouldn't it be best if you do not get involved with their life and be civil? Do not accuse them of things that are untrue. If you have an issue with one of your friends, speak to them about it. They will appreciate and respect the fact that you had the courage to go and discuss your problems, and hopefully your relationship will be stronger than ever. 

Now back to the reasons why. To gain popularity? Do you really believe that the best way to make friends is to make things up about other people in your life? One day, the things that you have said will come back and (for want of a better phrase) bite you on the arse. Your friends will discover what you have said was untrue, and you will end up being humiliated and your friends will leave you. Do you want that? No, didn't think so. Make friends by finding things in common and being nice. It can get you a long way.

If you dislike someone and want to make their life miserable, put on their shoes for a moment. Think about the words you are saying and how it is having an effect on their life. How would you like it if someone you're not really friends with was saying mean things about you? I can't imagine you'd like it very much. Now imagine if someone you're not really friends with start saying mean things about you to your friends and they believed them? Now there's an issue. This is what happens, and congratulations, you have made their life miserable. What have you gained? Nothing. You will gain more from being civil and will therefore move on and grow as a person.

I would just like everyone to be friends and to be happy, I know that this is unrealistic and is just me living in my happy little world, but I can compromise with people living in harmony. And, finally, in my opinion, people who feel then need to do this kind of thing, they are not fooling anyone. If you are in the situation where people are spreading rumours about you, remember this: they are the ones who have the issues, not you. They are far too cowardly to come and speak to you like a mature person, and until they decide to grow up and face up to what the have done, they are not worth your time.