Returning from the Undead

I know this title is a little exaggerated....but that's what it feels like!

I mentioned over a MONTH ago that I wanted to blog more..... that totally happened didn't it.

Life happened. Life got in the way. I've been away on orchestra. I've been working. I've been exhausted. I've been sorting my life out before I pack it all up and move to Prague.

It's been difficult. And scary.

I've been coping in the usual ways; you know, eating lots of ice cream, going to the gym and burying my head in the sand and pretending nothing is happening. All very healthy ways of coping with stress (not). But seriously though, things are beginning to come together. I have a flat to live, I'm speaking to people who are also going, and I'm slowly but surely learning the language.

I'm scared, but it's ok to be scared. Good things happen when one pushes themselves out of their comfort zone. And that's what I'm doing. Good things will happen and I will learn a lot.

I've missed writing on here, and I actually wrote when I was feeling at my most down and most stressed out, but I decided against it. I strive for positivity on here, in my writing and in my life. I was feeling anything but, HOWEVER, I feel like I've come out the other side feeling stronger and more determined for a challenge than ever.

Lots of love to you all and thanks for being so patient with me. xxx

Things That Make Me Happy

 I woke up this morning in a foul mood. Don't know why, but I was all (as the welsh say) cyntachu. There is no translation for that word. Sorry.
I did nothing differently this morning, but nothing seemed to be going right.

So I thought I'd make a list of all the small day-to-day things I am grateful for, and the things that give me pleasure in life:

my favourite shower gel | reading | oboe | playing something right | late night phone calls | cwtches | cute texts | dinner with friends | film nights | exploring new places | tidy rooms | my harry potter t-shirt | listening to music | having me-time | baking | fancy dress | food | knitting | yoga | writing letters | receiving letters | doing right in the world | little victories | family time | travelling | my hair looking good without effort | finding bargains in charity shops | chivalry | tea | smiling | disney | bubble baths | parcels | cinema trips | smell of pages | cats

view from my kitchen

Possibly the coolest cat ever

What makes you happy? :)

Small Things That Might Change Your Life

While doing my usual daily readings of the blogs I follow on Bloglovin, a theme appeared in a few posts, which was How To Be Happy or something similar. It was talking about the little things that you can do to make you feel a little more positive, or if you're simply stuck in a rut. The two posts that really stuck out for me were this one from one of my favourite blogs; Pretty Chit Chat, and this one by Zoella.

Over the past year I've discovered that doing lots of little things has had a complete change on my outlook and quality of my life. There have been numerous ups and downs (boys, pals, work, oboe, pretty much everything) but I thought I'd share with you some of the things that I found really useful when I felt I was stuck.

• YOGA - I cannot stress how important I find this. If its sunny, I like to go outside and practice there. Each position has a different meaning, and if you're really suffering from being stuck in the rut of life, the inverted positions will help you gain new perspective on things. Doing yoga in the morning is a gentle way to wake the body up, and the fluidity of the movement can help you Flow throughout the day. 

• MAKE UP - My friends would probably be able to tell you guys how much money time I like to spend on my face. It sounds really stupid, but I felt that when I bought new make up, I could almost paint on a new me in the morning. I really enjoy putting on my face, I can express my mood and feelings. Sometimes if I'm in a particularly bad mood in the morning, I'll put on bright eye make up and it really does make a difference. I find it soothing, relaxing, and it's the perfect bit of me-time to begin the day (after yoga, of course!!)

• HEALTHY DIET - I know, this is one of those things that everyone keeps talking about. Seriously though, I used to be one of the the most fussiest eaters of all time. Trying new foods and recipes really helped me overcome that, but I have found that since getting rid of junk food and refined sugars, and I've started eating more fruit, veg, healthy substitutions to puddings and drinking more water, not only have I lost weight, but my skin is clearer, I have a lot more energy, and I simply feel much better in myself. I am a strong believer in you are what you eat. 

• READING - Read whatever you want. Fiction, non-fiction, sci-fi, horror, whatever it is, believe me, it's better than sitting in front of a screen all day. Reading feeds the mind, and it allows you to get lost in so many different worlds, and you get to meet more people than you could ever imagine in these different worlds. Each book takes you on a journey. So why not begin now?

• STOP COMPLAINING - This really was a tough one for me, I mean, I am honestly never happier than if I have something to complain about. But complaining is negative, and we're trying to focus on keeping positive. So stop it. If you're in work and you're thinking "ooooh my feet hurt, I want to go home" instead think about how much money you've earned that shift, or something. This one does take time, because it involves changing habits and thought processes.

• GET OUT - On a bike. For a walk. On a run. Bungee jump. Travel. Whatever, just go. Going outside will help you be able to clear your head and it will get you away from sitting slumped in front of the computer mindlessly scrolling down Facebook for absolutely no reason.

• TREAT YOURSELF - There is nothing wrong with a little treat. If you have read the Chimp Paradox you will understand that your inner chimp often needs rewarding. Little treats now and then are great. If you think you deserve that pair of dungarees you've been lusting after, then go for it. Try not to abuse the treating though. Then it won't be a treat anymore, will it?

• GET RID - Someone or something making you miserable? Get rid of them. Why should you in your happy little bubble be allowing someone/something else to get you down? I know, easier said than done, but trust me, getting rid of the negative influences in your life works wonders.

• CLEANSING ENERGY - I was very sceptical when Mother first suggested I'd do this, but I went along with it any way. I can't explain how much better the energy of my bedroom was. If you spend a lot of time in one room, then it might be worth researching the different ways to cleanse the energy and to rid the room of the stagnant, murky, negative energy that has collected over the months/years. It will help you sleep, work, and feel better when you're in that environment again.   

I hope these help, even just a little. Let me know in the comments what small changes you do to make your life a more positive and happy place to be :) 

Harri's Wondrous World????

"What is this new name?" you may be asking. I've decided to make some changes to my blog. I've been wanting to do it for a while, as I hated "of Mice, Men and Musicians". I chose it because I thought it sounded cool after reading it somewhere. Of course at the time, I didn't know what I wanted from doing this, so I just put it down to have something. I also realised fairly early on that this blog wasn't ever going to have anything to do with music. Don't get me wrong, it's a massive part of my life and I love it, but for me, I like to have some things that are separate to music. I don't want to be the type of person that can only be defined by one thing.

And if you're wondering, I have based it on a track from the Harry Potter soundtrack. But hey, I'm a massive fan! I simply could not resist. Think about it too, my posts are from my head, and you do get to have an insight into the world in which I'm living (which is pretty wondrous, even if I may say so myself!)

I've been thinking now for quite a few months now, that I would like to take my blog a little further. I began this blog as a way to structure the thoughts in my head. Sometimes I have so many ideas and opinions going round my mind I don't know what to do with them. I guess it's a form of creative outlet. And my blog is mine. It is my space to voice the things in my head.

I've spoken about the change in my life quite a few times, and I guess that a change in my little online space is fitting? Hopefully over the summer I'm going to give it a little bit more of an overhaul to make it look a little better. (Once I figure out how to do that......)

I'd like to try and write a little more often now. Next year I'm hopefully going to be travelling, experiencing new things and going on adventures. So I'll easily have lots to write about, however over the summer, I have lots of time to think and to organise my thoughts (and also to go on adventures!)

This has been a bit of a ramble-y post, but yeah, I'm still here, I'll hopefully be here a little more often, but just a well-needed change. I'm proud of myself for creating this little outlet, but man, I hated the name more than I can say.

Changed for the Better

I'm currently (attempting) to pack up my room, as another year in college is over, and it's soon time for me to move back home for the summer, before embarking on my brand new adventure next year.

Anyways, I can't help but to reflect on the past year. So much has happened, and I really feel like I have grown as a person.

If you knew me this time last year, I was a shell of a person, I was in such an unreachable, dark place. I was having panic attacks every other day, I'd pushed all of my friends away and they thought I was going mental. I laugh about it now.

I have made amazing friends this year, as well as become much closer to some that I already knew. I realised early on that I could hand-pick everyone in my life, which gave me a massive sense of control over those who influenced me. Each and every person in my life right now each has their personal little hand print on my life and the person I am right now. I admire each of them in their own way, whether it being due to their faith, their ability to always pick themselves up, their strength, their ability to always make friends, their infinite amount of wisdom, and the little ways they show they care. I'm not going to name names, but they all hopefully know who they are. I am so blessed to have them in my life, and I wouldn't wish to have it other way.

Also, as I mentioned above, I feel like I've grown so much as a person this year. I am not afraid what others think of me, as I absolutely do not believe in changing myself for other people. My confidence is at an all time high, and I think this has had an affect on my work, playing and relationships with others. I am finally happy for the first time in my life with the way my body looks. I've been looking after it and I've been going to the gym so much more. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been okay with the way I look, and so it just shows how much my mindset has changed for the better this year.

I am just really happy at the moment, and I am so excited to see where my life takes me. This may be a little ramble-y and not really making much sense, but I just wanted to share with you guys how happy I am with where I am in life. I finally have some sort of direction now, whereas before I was just wandering aimlessly in the giant world. I have a goal that I'm working towards for my post-college life, and although those closest to me know what it is, I'll share with the rest of you at a later date, as it is still something quite personal to me and I'd like to share it when I know more for definite.

There are some things that I'm not currently happy with in my life (a lack of a love life........sigh), but the things that are happening at the moment really make up for it. I do still get little panic attacks, and I have my off days where I just eat chocolate and pig out and cry in front of The Notebook, but that's just normal, right?

Dressing Room Syndrome

So today, I decided I would treat myself to a brand new outfit. I've been eating much more healthily and I've been going to the gym a lot, and generally feeling good about my body for the first time in a while, and felt like I needed a treat (and procrastinating from essay, but that's something else entirely....)

Anyways, I skipped down to one of my favourite stores in the pretty dismal town in which I live, Miss Selfridge. I did have an outfit in mind, a lovely pair of dungarees that I had my eye on from the store in Manchester, but I wanted to try them on. Our store is fairly small, so they didn't have them. But alas! I did not let this get me down! I browsed around, picked out a couple of outfits and went into the changing rooms.

This is where everything went pear shaped. I looked in the mirror, and I looked pear-shaped. None of the outfits looked any good. My legs looked fat, my stomach seemed to have doubled in size, and I even looked shorter than normal. At a measly 5 foot 3.5, that's an achievement in itself. I had to put all the pretty outfits back. It honestly made me feel that all my hard work recently had been for nothing. 

Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm seeing a distorted view of myself in the mirror normally and the dressing room mirror doesn't lie? I'm not saying I'm fat, by any standard, I know I'm not fat, but maybe I'm trying on the wrong clothes? Or does the dressing room mirror lie, and shows a distorted reflection? Or is it down to unfortunate lighting? 

It makes me feel like I don't want to buy anymore clothes and I feel about a size gazillion everytime I step into a changing room. Does anyone else feel like this too? Or maybe I'm insane and just over-thinking everything.