Changed for the Better

I'm currently (attempting) to pack up my room, as another year in college is over, and it's soon time for me to move back home for the summer, before embarking on my brand new adventure next year.

Anyways, I can't help but to reflect on the past year. So much has happened, and I really feel like I have grown as a person.

If you knew me this time last year, I was a shell of a person, I was in such an unreachable, dark place. I was having panic attacks every other day, I'd pushed all of my friends away and they thought I was going mental. I laugh about it now.

I have made amazing friends this year, as well as become much closer to some that I already knew. I realised early on that I could hand-pick everyone in my life, which gave me a massive sense of control over those who influenced me. Each and every person in my life right now each has their personal little hand print on my life and the person I am right now. I admire each of them in their own way, whether it being due to their faith, their ability to always pick themselves up, their strength, their ability to always make friends, their infinite amount of wisdom, and the little ways they show they care. I'm not going to name names, but they all hopefully know who they are. I am so blessed to have them in my life, and I wouldn't wish to have it other way.

Also, as I mentioned above, I feel like I've grown so much as a person this year. I am not afraid what others think of me, as I absolutely do not believe in changing myself for other people. My confidence is at an all time high, and I think this has had an affect on my work, playing and relationships with others. I am finally happy for the first time in my life with the way my body looks. I've been looking after it and I've been going to the gym so much more. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been okay with the way I look, and so it just shows how much my mindset has changed for the better this year.

I am just really happy at the moment, and I am so excited to see where my life takes me. This may be a little ramble-y and not really making much sense, but I just wanted to share with you guys how happy I am with where I am in life. I finally have some sort of direction now, whereas before I was just wandering aimlessly in the giant world. I have a goal that I'm working towards for my post-college life, and although those closest to me know what it is, I'll share with the rest of you at a later date, as it is still something quite personal to me and I'd like to share it when I know more for definite.

There are some things that I'm not currently happy with in my life (a lack of a love life........sigh), but the things that are happening at the moment really make up for it. I do still get little panic attacks, and I have my off days where I just eat chocolate and pig out and cry in front of The Notebook, but that's just normal, right?

Travels | Belfast and Northern Ireland

1 week before my recital, I jetted off for a well-needed break to Belfast. I didn't realise I needed a break, but I feel so much happier and calmer than I did a week ago. Anyway, there was a reason, Mother was doing her first public speech on the mistakes on property.

I was meant to be meeting my parents out there, so when my plane landed at 12:30, I grabbed my backpack and hopped on a bus. The first thing I noticed was that the people of Northern Ireland are so friendly! While I was waiting for the bus, a girl around my age just said hello to me, which is something that barely happens in Britain. And then while I was wandering around the centre, someone passed me and said "there's a penny on the floor over there, go pick it up and you'll have a lucky day". How nice is that?! I think more people should go out of their way to make a stranger's day a little bit brighter.

Anyway, I digress. While I waited for my parents, I found this adorable little cupcake shop where I ordered a delicious bowl of chickpea, lentil and bacon soup, a great big hot chocolate and a lemon and white chocolate cupcake for lunch. It was delicious, and a proper locals place. A little out of the proper centre (I would no way have found it if I hadn't of gone right instead of left out of the bus station - away from the centre....), it was so lovely. It was called The Little Cupcake Cafe if anyone is interested. I would highly recommend it. The food and cupcakes were all homemade, and cost me around £5.70!

Anyway, I then wasted about 2 and a half hours wandering around the city, and getting a feel of it (all with my backpack on my back), before eventually my parents' plane had landed and they'd picked up the car. I found my way up to a viewing gallery of the city, and although I'm a little wobbly when it comes to heights, all the steps and the collywobbles were worth the view.

When my parents arrived we didn't have that much time to relax and settle into the hotel, before we had to rush back out to the meeting.

The next day, we got up, had breakfast in another really adorable cafe, and the breakfast was delicious - I had a bacon and mushroom omelette, and it was cooked to perfection! After breakfast we headed out for a roadtrip to the Giant's Causeway. We drove along the coastal road, and the views were spectacular! Some pictures are below.

I then had a plane to catch at 8:30am the next morning, so after we got back, we had a spot of dinner at TGI Friday's (YUM), and hit the sack.

It was a great few days, and it was the first time I'd ever flown by myself. I hoped that it would have calmed my constant wanderlust (at least for a little), but it did the opposite. As soon as I landed back in Manchester, I wanted to jump on another plane and travel somewhere else. Maybe in the next few weeks.....

I'M MOVING TO PRAGUE!

As most of you guys know, I am going on an Erasmus exchange next year. I'm going to be studying at the Academy of Performing Arts in Prague!!

The application process was vigorous, with so much paperwork to fill in and audition tapes to video...if any of you guys saw me in February, I was not a very calm bunny.

I was lucky enough to be offered two places (I haven't head back from the third, but I'd like to get the full set ;) ). One offer came through right at the beginning of the Easter holidays, and I sort of kept it on the DL, apart from my closest friends, as I didn't want to start telling people until everything was finalised and sorted. By the time I had been offered a room in a student halls in Bergen, Norway, it started to look very official that it was there I was to be headed. 

HOWEVER. There was one awful day in college, after a number of pretty bad days, and I decided to go home for an undetermined amount of time. The morning I was set to head home, my ipad dinged the email ding at the unsociable hour of 07:43. I grumbled, got up to see what it was expecting it to be some sort of Amazon newsletter or something, and saw it was an acceptance from Prague! I just thought "huh, look at that" and went back to bed.

So my nice relaxing break at home ended up with me basically sat at the kitchen table deliberating between the two different paths my life could venture. I was weighing up the pros and cons, and consulting my friends, parents and the cats for advice. Eventually, the night before I was due to come back up to college in Manchester, I made the snap desicion. Prague it was.

It was one of the hardest desicions ever. Do I go for a country where everything was already organised and ready to go, a university place with the opportunity of meeting people who study other things, and where I had already planned my life and traveling for the next year, but basically didn't allow me to have a summer holiday and give me constant money fear? Or do I go for the city that I had loved for years, very accessible to the rest of Europe, 88p beer, but yet have no idea on where to live, and no clue how to speak a word of Czech (apart from "ahoj!")? These thoughts just kept going round and round and round and round my head. I know there are much, much, much worse situations to be in, I mean the Oh-No-I've-Been-Offered-More-Than-One-Erasmus-Place isn't exactly a life or death desicion, but it's still going to have a massive impact on the Rest Of My Life. 

Anyways, a whole new life with new experiences, new friends and new opportunities is just around the corner, and I am SO EXCITED. Of course, I'm worried that I'll leave College now and everyone will forget that I exist, and I worry that maybe some of my friendships won't be as strong as I thought to keep going while I'm living on the continent. I hope not. Obviously, I'm going to be blogging my way through my journey in Prague, so you can keep up to date with what is occurring while I'm out there.

Have a photo of Prague. It doesn't really capture any of the city's magnificent beauty, but it is the view from the castle, which is just a little walk up from where I'll be studying! 

Also:

On the subject of blogs, I would like to change the name of this one, if anyone has any ideas, please let me know! 

One of my Best Friends, Mia, and I have started a blog together. It's still in its early stages, but it's more of a lifestyle, chatty type blog where we basically write to each other. If you're interested, you can see find us here: http://twolittlebricks.wordpress.com

AND FINALLY another one of my Best Friends is doing an amazing thing for charity. She's shaving off her hair. And if you know Beth, you'll know she has an Afro!! If you don't, scroll down and you'll find some photos of her, but I'm so so proud and excited to be a part of this journey that she is about to embark! If you would like to donate, you can click on this link right here: https://www.justgiving.com/Beth-Davis2

I appreciate that this post is a little news-y, and quite different to my other posts, but there are a lot of exciting things happening at the moment and I just wanted to share them all!