Changed for the Better

I'm currently (attempting) to pack up my room, as another year in college is over, and it's soon time for me to move back home for the summer, before embarking on my brand new adventure next year.

Anyways, I can't help but to reflect on the past year. So much has happened, and I really feel like I have grown as a person.

If you knew me this time last year, I was a shell of a person, I was in such an unreachable, dark place. I was having panic attacks every other day, I'd pushed all of my friends away and they thought I was going mental. I laugh about it now.

I have made amazing friends this year, as well as become much closer to some that I already knew. I realised early on that I could hand-pick everyone in my life, which gave me a massive sense of control over those who influenced me. Each and every person in my life right now each has their personal little hand print on my life and the person I am right now. I admire each of them in their own way, whether it being due to their faith, their ability to always pick themselves up, their strength, their ability to always make friends, their infinite amount of wisdom, and the little ways they show they care. I'm not going to name names, but they all hopefully know who they are. I am so blessed to have them in my life, and I wouldn't wish to have it other way.

Also, as I mentioned above, I feel like I've grown so much as a person this year. I am not afraid what others think of me, as I absolutely do not believe in changing myself for other people. My confidence is at an all time high, and I think this has had an affect on my work, playing and relationships with others. I am finally happy for the first time in my life with the way my body looks. I've been looking after it and I've been going to the gym so much more. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been okay with the way I look, and so it just shows how much my mindset has changed for the better this year.

I am just really happy at the moment, and I am so excited to see where my life takes me. This may be a little ramble-y and not really making much sense, but I just wanted to share with you guys how happy I am with where I am in life. I finally have some sort of direction now, whereas before I was just wandering aimlessly in the giant world. I have a goal that I'm working towards for my post-college life, and although those closest to me know what it is, I'll share with the rest of you at a later date, as it is still something quite personal to me and I'd like to share it when I know more for definite.

There are some things that I'm not currently happy with in my life (a lack of a love life........sigh), but the things that are happening at the moment really make up for it. I do still get little panic attacks, and I have my off days where I just eat chocolate and pig out and cry in front of The Notebook, but that's just normal, right?

Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon

Yesterday, I woke up with a feeling of dread - it was the morning of a couple of Exams. (Dictation and group improvisation, in case you wondered.) These are a few of my weakest areas in the study of Music, so naturally, I felt apprehensive. I picked up my iPad, to check any emails I may have received during the night, and found an email from my lecturer saying that he was unwell. No exam! Hooray! I lolled about in bed for a while, deliberating this new freedom I had for the day.

At around 9am I decided to get up and begin the day. It was beautiful outside, the sun was shining and the birds were chirruping. A gorgeous, crisp, spring morning. I wandered into the kitchen where Flatty H was making her breakfast and I announced that there was no exam. She handed me a cup of tea in excitement, and ran up to Flatty B's room to share this fantastic news.

It was here we all wondered what to do with our day. Both Flatties didn't have to be in College until around 4pm, which was when I left for work. It was suggested that we go to the tea and cake shop up the road which we had been meaning to go to since we moved in. It was decided - we must go. It would be a shame to waste such a beautiful day.

I went for a run in the park, did a couple of laps and went home. It was not only sunny, but it was warm. I got home, and for the first time in ages, all three of us had lunch together. Flatty H and I made some sweet potato fries to go with our chicken/fish/veggie pie, and some beans. Yum.

After about an hour of enjoying each other's company, we ambled out into the sun for our Cake Date. Such excitement was bestowed upon us.We wandered into the empty shop and were greeted warmly with the pleasant site of cake, cake and more cake. So many decisions to be made. Cupcake or slice? Brownie or rocky road? Plain or exciting? I settled for a cup of lemon tea and a Malteser cupcake, Flatty B had a blueberry cake and a cookies and cream milkshake, and Flatty H had a giant slice of Red Velvet cake and a hot chocolate.

It was joked that I kept scrounging their cakes/drinks from them, but I couldn't help it - I wanted to try as much as I could! We were there for about an hour, and it most definitely won't be the last time we visit. 

It was a wonderful day spent with Flatties, and days like this are very special and close to my heart as I am blessed with two wonderful friends. It's nice every now and then to take a day off from the day job/College/life and spend it bantering, catching up and enjoying the company of your dear chums. 

Flatties and cakes. (The best things in life)

Much filter, very book, such bricks. (Ironic hipstery)