Socialising Antisocially?!

source: Pinterest

It has come to my attention recently, that many people feel the need to be on their phones at the same time as spending time with friends.

Let me give you an example:
A few years ago, I met up with a very close friend of mine for the day. I hadn't seen her for a while, so I was really looking forward to spending the day catching up and having a good gossip. She then spent the entire day texting her boyfriend. I felt really......what's the word...... put out. I had made the effort to put the whole day aside for her, but she couldn't do the same for me. What was the point of her even bothering to see me if she was glued to her phone the entire time?

I can't help but wonder, are phones more important to people than their friends?

I work as a waitress in a little seaside restaurant, in a small village in Pembrokeshire. I have noticed through the many hours I've spent there, that so many families sit in silence while they are all gazing at the little screens, that have taken over our lives. Not only that, but many of these families ask me "do you have wifi here?" Our wifi has a reputation of being a little temperamental, but what surprises me is the look of disappointment on the face of the asker at the thought of having to spend the entire evening speaking to their parents.

I mean, God forbid you have to have an actual conversation face-to-face while you're on a family holiday.

I know I have touched on this subject before, with my Look Up  post a few months back, but for some reason, this subject is very close to my heart, and I do not understand why people feel the need to spend the quality face-to-face time they should be having with one person, glued to the piece of plastic in their hands speaking to another.

If I had a boyfriend, and I was spending the day with people that I loved, I would tell him that and if he doesn't understand that, then frankly, he shouldn't be in my life. I think it's controlling, unhealthy and possibly damaging the relationship to be in a constant conversation for all hours of the day. What left do you have to talk about when you see each other?

Obviously, I do see the benefits of mobile phones and being able to reach someone instantaneously. Emergencies, for example. "Help, can you get this spider out of my room please?!" (A genuine text I have sent....)

Does anyone else agree with me here? Am I the only one?

Look Up - A Response

This video basically sums up and puts into words how I have been feeling about today's generation. My closest friends already know that I very strongly dislike what technology has done to us as a society.

It bothers me that it is practically a social norm to text Person A while talking face to face with Person B. I personally think it's rude. It's exactly the same as sitting having a cup of coffee with someone and stopping mid-sentence, turning your back on them and start having another conversation with someone else. We all do it, I know I do, but I've recently become concious of when I do it, and now that I'm aware, it makes me uncomfortable when I reply to a text while I should be giving a friend my full attention or vice versa.

Whatever happened to writing letters? I am an avid letter writer. If I have taken the time to sit and write a letter to my friends, why can't they do the same for me? Or I get an acknowledgement of the letter on facebook, but no reply. Not even a long message in reply to my letter. It's not hard, yes it will cost you (at most) 62p for a first class stamp, but it's so much more personal, and think of the smile that you will put on your friend's face when they see that letter for them in the post. I wish people would write more letters. You can keep letters, put them in a special box, or put them up on your wall. You can't do that with facebook messages and texts.

I also don't understand why people feel the need to document their life. I know, ironic, I'm saying this on a blog, for people to read, on the internet.....but when was the last time you went for a day out and didn't take loads of photos with the sole purpose of uploading them straight onto facebook/instagram/twitter when you got home? I upload a lot of photos, I know I do, but I also have lots and lots of photos on my phone that make me smile that I haven't put up. Of course I see the positives of having a facebook profile - networking, keeping in contact with friends that live far away, organising last minute trips etc, but don't you think it's a bit sad when people feel the need to share what they're doing rather than sit back and enjoy the moment they are living and creating new memories?

Here's a funny story: I got a friend request recently, and I was sat around people when I received the request. It was someone a couple of years above me at College. One of my friends genuinely said "oh, you can't reply yet, you'll look too keen." Excuse me? Do people really think into social networking so much that the time taken to accept a friend request was analysed? Did they really think "oh man, that was one fast request, she must be super eager"? I hope not! What does that say about today's generation?

Phone calls? Anyone? Remember them? When was the last time you called someone out of the blue, just for a chat, and not to see where they are, or can they please bring in milk on the way home? Phone calls are not restricted to your Significant Other, as I have noticed that people in relationships spend a lot more time on the phone to each other compared to those who are not involved within the relationship. I'm most definitely not saying spend less time on the phone to them, I'm saying spend all the time on the phone to lots of different people! The other day, I felt down and I called one of my closest friends and she made me feel better. There's no way that she would have been able to make me feel better just by text or over facebook.

I try, every day, to spend an hour away from all things comprising of social media, and in that hour I am itching to check my phone for the first, I don't know, 20 minutes? But after that, it's quite nice, I get things done, I read my book, I listen to music, I sit down and watch an episode of Once Upon A Time. It's so nice to sit and not worry about what other people are doing in their lives. When was the last time you turned your phone off, and just watched something? I genuinely believe that social media websites such as facebook and twitter are making us as a society very antisocial and we are getting twisted and distorted views of other people's way of life. We tend to only post about when we're feeling happy, because if you're feeling sad people might think you're craving attention.

Immerse yourself in the things around you. When you feel bored, and you can feel yourself itching to know what's going on in the world, pick up the newspaper. Or phone a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Or write a letter or an email. Listen to an audio-book and knit. Tidy your room. Paint. Dance around your room with your friends. And don't snapchat it. Bake some cookies. Seriously, if only one person who reads this does just one of these things, I will be one step closer to making the world a happier and relaxed place.

Pet Peeves

Everyone has their little pet peeves, you know, the little things that irritate them. I always try to be positive and look on the bright side of life, but some things really do rub me up the wrong way.
I sometimes feel that I may have a little more than others, so I'm going to share some of them with the rest of the world.

Texting
I absolutely cannot stand the sound of phone buttons when people are texting. Blackberries were the worst for this. When I was in sixth form, pretty much everyone had a Blackberry, and so pretty much everyone had the incredibly irritating clicking sound that went with it. Especially when if we were in class, and we were doing some work quietly, there would always be the click click click click of a blackberry. Now that touch screen phones are all the rage, this particular annoyance doesn't appear quite that frequently.

Rudeness
I doubt I'm alone in this one. People who seem to not hold open a door for you even if you're just a step behind, or people who don't say thank you after you've held open the door, or people who are just plain arsey. I know that everyone has bad days and good days, and some people are nicer than others, and I definitely know that sometimes, you say something that can come across quite rudely, but I try not to do it on purpose. I don't understand how people can be so mean and not give a consideration about other people's feelings. I try to go out of my way to be nice, to hold open doors, to let someone through first, to smile and people, always say please and thank you. Its not difficult, and I just like to think that, maybe, I'll be remembered as the person who picked up that something you dropped that one time. Manners cost nothing.

Head-Patting
I hate it when people pat my head. I think it must have something to do with the fact that I'm short. I'm 5ft 3.5, so I'm not tiny, but I've always been the shortest in my group of friends. I also say stupid things sometimes without meaning to, and people would always go "Aw there there" and follow it up with a pat on the head. I find it incredibly irritating and patronising (see what I did there?). But yeah, please don't do it.

Crumbs
I hate crumbs. Crumbs get everywhere. Crumbs in the butter, crumbs in the marmite, crumbs in the fridge, crumbs on the worktop. No matter how many times you clean them up, they come back.

Whispering
Oooooh, the sound of other people whispering really grates on me. Imagine, you're in a lecture in university, it's quite interesting, starting to actually learn something, and suddenly you can hear "pssspshpsspshhphpssh" from behind. The breathy sound of whispering, I swear it's more distracting than actual talking. This leads me straight onto my next one:

People Not Turning Up to Lectures
Although the Whisperers mentioned above are annoying, at least they made the effort to turn up to the lecture. Everyone has skipped a lecture, you wake up and think "nah, I'm really not feeling it today" and so you don't go. But when it's the same people over and over who don't turn up for the lecture and think it's okay? No, its not okay. You have taken out a massive student loan to pay your £9000 tuition fees, you could at least have the decency to turn up to your lectures. We have 5 lectures a week, 7 hours. It's not that hard. Really.

Practice Room Stealers
Well, stealing isn't quite the right word, but in college, we have a practice room booking system, and there are days where all the rooms get booked very quickly. However, some people don't turn up to their room. If you're not going to go, either cancel it, or don't book it in the first place. Do the rest of us who actually want to practice a favour. Thanks.