Romantic Expectations

It has recently come to my attention that I think I may have fairly high expectations of the male gender. You know why this is? Chick flicks. And Disney.

I was sat watching What Happens in Vegas the other day, you know, the one with Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher (who is mighty fine in that film, I'd like to add), and as in every chick flick, darling Ashton upsets Cameron and she goes running off to sit on an island and he goes running after her. I don't think that happens in real life. I've never had Ashton Kutcher come running after me when I'm feeling a little sad.... I WISH. But seriously, every time a boy has upset me, or has broken up with me, there is a little part of me that hopes and dreams and wishes that he will come and do a great big Romantic Gesture. And he never has.

I remember when my first proper boyfriend and I broke up, he told me months later that he regretted the decision as soon as he woke up the next morning, and I told him that there was nothing I wanted more than to hear a knock on the door and to see his face. He told me that there were some days he just wanted to get on a bus to see me and to beg for my forgiveness. But he didn't. (If you're reading this....it's ok, I forgive you!!!!)

Take my sixth-form May Ball for example. I went to an all girls school, but the May Ball was for the students of my school and the boys school down the road. I wasn't particularly close with any of the guys to be honest, but there was still a little part of me that hoped and dreamed that when I arrived at the reception area there'd be a boy standing there with a corsage for me and declaring his undying love. It didn't happen.

Or, you know, everyone has that person who is a friend, but sort of more than a friend, as you can definitely sort of see something maybe happening with them, but you're not really sure how they feel (great English there, Harri). Well, I'm just saying that it would be nice if they announced in a lovely heart-warming manner that they feel the same about you. It will probably never happen.

I don't know why I bring about these expectations and hopes and dreams upon myself, because at the end of the day, no one is going to get hurt except me. Is it too much to ask though, to have one boy to do something really romantic and throw pebbles at my window, or to come find me if I was on holiday in Berlin or somewhere, or even plan out this great big surprise visit with all my friends and when I walk through the door they pick me up and announce that what he did was wrong, and he's sorry etc, like they do in the films.

I'm a complete hopeless romantic, I'm totally in love with the idea of true love, and I believe that my soul mate is walking around right now, maybe thinking these thoughts too. Perhaps I've already met them. That thought is really thrilling. I would be willing to do all of those things that I've listed above, but there's one thing that holds me back. The fear of rejection. Can you imagine, if I went to a lot of trouble to tell someone how I'm feeling and they turned around and said "Harri, I don't feel the same, but I hope we can stay friends". It's as if someone would have stabbed me in the heart, and just twisted the knife around to make sure that it hurt real good. Maybe people have had these thoughts about me, but aren't sure whether to act upon it.

If you have these ideas, or want to tell someone how you feel, then please, just do it. More often than not, the other person will really appreciate it, and they will hopefully reciprocate those feelings.

I don't know, maybe it's me, maybe I've watched one too many films, listened to too many musicals, sang too much Taylor Swift, read too many books and have this unrealistic expectation of men. Or maybe, this is what I'd like to believe - I just haven't met the right boy yet.

(I've also just realised that this may backfire and no boy will ever want anything to do with me ever again because they'll believe that they'll never live up to my expectations. To be honest, unless you're a perfect mix of Harry Potter, Peeta Mellark, Captain Antonio Corelli and Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, Kristoff from Frozen or Eugene Fitzherbert, you won't, but please don't let that put you off.)

Stalk-ception

You know when you've been stalking someone on facebook for a little too long? (We all do it, don't sit there and pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about.) You've looked through all that person's photos, scrolled down their timeline back to 2008.....ok, maybe I'm exaggurating, but I get a strange....let's call it a revelation...if I've been looking at someone's face for a little bit too long. Especially if I haven't seen or spoken to that person in a while. 

I get a strange thought process that goes through my head. If I were to map it out, it would go something like this: 

• Oh hey, that's a nice photo
• Aww, that's cute
• Oh look a cute kitten
• Their hair looks a little odd, but whatever, they're only human
• Wait, they're human
• Like, this is an actual person
• I used to KNOW this person
• I wonder if they're voice sounds the same
• Oh look, a photo of us....from 2011....
• Like, this is me and them together. WE USED TO KNOW EACHOTHER.
• What are they like now?
• This person isn't just a person in photos, like this is an actual person
• An actual person with feelings
• And an actual life
• Wow
• I wonder if they ever think of me

At this point I tend to have weird-ed myself out and have had to close the facebook tab. I can't even put into words my thought process. It only happens every now and then, and it tends to only happen if I haven't seen them or I am no longer speaking to them. 

I was just wondering if anyone else gets these strange, head-messing, thoughts when looking at someone. No? Just me? Great. 

Review | The Fault In Our Stars

The Fault In Our Stars, by Mr John Green, has been #1 on the New York Times Children's Best Seller's List, #1 on the Amazon Best Seller's List, and has had an amazing reaction from fans all over the cyberworld. However, I am not usually one to read a book simply because it's popular. I'm not sure why, I seem to get it into my head that because so many people are reading it, then it can't be that good. Please don't ask me how my brain has managed to come to that conclusion, I have no idea. But yeah, the jist is, I tend to avoid reading the currently popular books.

Many, many, many people had insisted that I must read TFIOS and that it would make me sob like a baby. As many of my friends know that I cry at every single emotion. Happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, fear, shock, laughter. You name it, my reaction would probably be to have tears sprouting from my
eyes. And I cry in practically every film. Another reason why I wasn't particularly drawn to read it. Why would I want to read a book that would make me bawl like a baby?

Anyway, there was one day I was making a large Amazon book haul, I saw that the book was £3.85 so I figured, what the heck? It was added to the basket, and two weeks later it was on my doorstep. Last weekend I went to London, and I thought I'd take it for some easy reading on the train. It was very easy to read, I very much enjoyed Mr John Green's style of writing as it is not dissimilar to his way of speaking on his vlogs, which I try and watch every week. I finished it in a day.

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves" - William Shakespeare.

I'm going to assume that this is the quote that inspired the title of this book. I can see that Mr John Green has used the quote almost ironically, as the tragic love story between Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters is very much written in the stars and it is fate what is happening to them and there is nothing that can be changed about it.

Here is where my opinion may be a little different to the majority of people.....I wasn't that overly impressed it. The story, in my opinion, is a little so-so, and I feel that it got the attention it received because the story was centred around cancer. I didn't sob like people had promised. I did get a little lump in my throat, but I was completely dry-eyed for the entire book. I found the main character a little irritating, constantly comparing herself to a fictional character of her favourite book, and to be honest, I think I would have preferred to know the story from Gus's point of view (although I can see how that wouldn't quite work.....)

They fell in love in what seemed like 5 minutes, and they are of the ages of 16 and 17. I'm sorry, but it is highly unlikely that what they were feeling was indeed True Love, and even if [SPOILER ALERT] Gus hadn't died at the end, the relationship probably would not have lasted for a long time. I may be wrong, but I couldn't help think this with every sentence that I read.

I spoke to a very good friend of mine, and although she hadn't read the book, she said that one of the reasons why the story is so popular is due to the romantic and tragic notion of the two protagonists suffering from this disease and the inevitability of death. However, don't you think that this may be romanticising a dreadful disease like cancer?

I am terribly sorry to my dear friends who had recommended me to read TFIOS to read, but it had very high expectations, and the book simply did not live up to them.

If you have any opinions that you would like to share with me, then please feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The Magical World of Harry Potter

On Christmas morning, I was told to open a certain present last. It was envelope shaped, and inside was possibly the best Christmas present any Harry Potter fan could ask for - two tickets for the Harry Potter Studio Tour. I immediately texted Flatty B, knowing she was a massive HP fan too and that she hadn't been before. She said yes, and I promptly booked it.

That day, was yesterday! I was practically crying with excitement all the way down from Manchester to the studios. It was a dream come true. The shuttle bus was possibly the finest decorated bus I'd ever seen, and I believe I actually squealed with excitement when it approached the bus station in Watford Junction.

One of the first things you see when you get in is three of the original giant chess pieces from the first film. I squealed again (there was a lot of squealing going on today, well done to Flatty B for coping), and I went over to have a photo. So many photos were taken, I'm sure my facebook friends thoroughly appreciated the 196 photos I uploaded this morning. 

We arrived a little early, so we went into the shop and had a look around. Memorabilia galore! So many trinkets, hoodies, glasses, mugs, scarves, books and wands! So many wands!

Voldemort's wand!

Anyways, we began to queue, and while you passed the cupboard under the stairs complete with glasses and the little horse toys that Harry plays with at the beginning of the first film. Again, much more squealing. We were taken into a waiting room, then into a cinema. They showed a brief introduction to the tour by Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson. This gave way to the main doors to the Great Hall. The magical words were said "Welcome to Hogwarts". We were both so excited and bounced into the Great Hall. The amount of detail was absolutely astonishing, and they even had the actual costumes that the actual actors wore! 

We were in here for about 15-20 minutes, before being herded into the back room to make way for the next tour. This room was so very magnificent. It had everything from information on all the directors, to make up, to the gates of Hogwarts, to Dumbledore's office, to troll's armour! 

Educational Decrees!

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened

Flatty B having a cheeky pose

In a little room off of this massive room was the opportunity to have a ride of a broomstick, which of course we jumped to the end of the line. Well, I flew a broomstick, Flatty B didn't want to. She played Mam for the day and held all my stuff. Thank you! But in order to have a go on a broomstick, you got to put on some robes. I was Gryffindor (of course....).

After this, we looked around the rest of the room. We saw the great big statue that was placed in the Ministry of Magic in the later films. You know, the one with the oppression of muggles! Oh, we saw some Death Eater's masks and costumes as well as the original Marauder's Map!! 

After about an hour in this room, it was time to go outside for a lovely refreshing drink of.....Butterbeer! It was very nice, very sweet though. Not what I expected it to taste like. It was like cream soda, caramel and something else that I couldn't put finger on. It was here that you could see the Knight Bus, Privet drive, Godric's Hollow and some more chess pieces. 

The next room we went into was one which was all about the CGI effects and make up. For example, the making of Robbie Coltrane into Hagrid, and we saw dead Dobby in a class case (always a sad moment....), and a werewolf, and the basilisk's head, and Aragog. He was hanging from the ceiling and I hadn't noticed him until Flatty B turned and said "oooh that's not very nice", I jumped and screamed. I don't like spiders at the best of times, let a giant one hanging from the ceiling. Needless to say, I scurried on quickly after that. Into Diagon Alley. The most magical street in the UK. The home of Gringotts Bank, Flourish and Blotts, Olivanders, Madam Malkin's Dress Shop, and of course, the Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. This, up to this point, was my favourite place and I really did not want to leave at all. The window displays were so detailed which all these strange gadgets that I really wish were real so I could go in and have a play with them. Amazing. 

The penultimate room we went into was my favourite room of the whole day, it found it quite emotional for some reason. I was so happy and excited that I couldn't contain it. Emotional music was being played, and the tears welled up in my eyes. It was real, standing in front of me, a giant model of Hogwarts. It was so much bigger than I expected, as people had said that it was quite small. As if, they must have seen a different model or something....? 

Apologies for bad quality and lighting, I had to use my ipad as my phone was running out of battery and the lights switched between night and day.

We then went into a room full of wand boxes, and I suddenly remembered something I had read ages ago, that each of the names on the wand boxes were the names of each member of the cast and crew. I told this to Flatty B and one of the workers overheard me, and seemed quite impressed that I knew. (Spot the nerd...).

This lead out into the shop, where I got excited and sad, because I didn't want to have to leave! I bought a big book on how they made the books into the films, and have been flicking through that this morning. There's so much information to take in, I can only read it in little chunks! I also bought a chocolate frog that I munched on the train home. I got the Helga Hufflepuff card! My most exciting purchase was the hardback edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I've never seen it in hardback, and as it's my favourite book, I couldn't resist. It now has pride of place on my bookshelf with all my other copies of the books. I cannot wait to read it.

This day was amazing. As a Harry Potter fan from a really young age, stepping into the world really made it come to life for me. I would happily go down again next week and the week after and the week after that. In the summer I am hopefully going to drag my parents to come with me and see it again. Such an amazing day, and I went to bed with a great big smile on my face. A massive thank you to Flatty B for coming with me, and for coping with my excitement all day, and a super-massive thank you to Mother and Father for giving me this wonderful experience for Christmas.

Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon

Yesterday, I woke up with a feeling of dread - it was the morning of a couple of Exams. (Dictation and group improvisation, in case you wondered.) These are a few of my weakest areas in the study of Music, so naturally, I felt apprehensive. I picked up my iPad, to check any emails I may have received during the night, and found an email from my lecturer saying that he was unwell. No exam! Hooray! I lolled about in bed for a while, deliberating this new freedom I had for the day.

At around 9am I decided to get up and begin the day. It was beautiful outside, the sun was shining and the birds were chirruping. A gorgeous, crisp, spring morning. I wandered into the kitchen where Flatty H was making her breakfast and I announced that there was no exam. She handed me a cup of tea in excitement, and ran up to Flatty B's room to share this fantastic news.

It was here we all wondered what to do with our day. Both Flatties didn't have to be in College until around 4pm, which was when I left for work. It was suggested that we go to the tea and cake shop up the road which we had been meaning to go to since we moved in. It was decided - we must go. It would be a shame to waste such a beautiful day.

I went for a run in the park, did a couple of laps and went home. It was not only sunny, but it was warm. I got home, and for the first time in ages, all three of us had lunch together. Flatty H and I made some sweet potato fries to go with our chicken/fish/veggie pie, and some beans. Yum.

After about an hour of enjoying each other's company, we ambled out into the sun for our Cake Date. Such excitement was bestowed upon us.We wandered into the empty shop and were greeted warmly with the pleasant site of cake, cake and more cake. So many decisions to be made. Cupcake or slice? Brownie or rocky road? Plain or exciting? I settled for a cup of lemon tea and a Malteser cupcake, Flatty B had a blueberry cake and a cookies and cream milkshake, and Flatty H had a giant slice of Red Velvet cake and a hot chocolate.

It was joked that I kept scrounging their cakes/drinks from them, but I couldn't help it - I wanted to try as much as I could! We were there for about an hour, and it most definitely won't be the last time we visit. 

It was a wonderful day spent with Flatties, and days like this are very special and close to my heart as I am blessed with two wonderful friends. It's nice every now and then to take a day off from the day job/College/life and spend it bantering, catching up and enjoying the company of your dear chums. 

Flatties and cakes. (The best things in life)

Much filter, very book, such bricks. (Ironic hipstery)